We stood on a mountaintop overlooking the sickness and war that overran the minds of men. Neither of us had been born into an earthly existence yet, merely living in another dimension where pain and sorrow couldn't touch us. Still, it wasn't enough and I longed to be mortal.
You talked excitedly about the love and adventure of Heavenly realms. But I gazed down at the world--even war--with a desire I couldn't explain.
We walked into our favorite forest after that. You told me how we'd become mortal someday, just not yet--not this time. My breathing slowed as the scent of pine pervaded my senses. I knew you were my other half, home. And those had always been our woods. We'd explored them a million times, always dreaming, always speaking of our eternity together. We'd fished in those streams. Made love by those riverbeds. Hiked those trails countless times. Yet, I let go of your hand. "I want to be mortal. . . . Will you go with me?" I pleaded because you were my everything and always had been.
"I'm staying here," your resolve said more than your words ever could have, "staying in our forest. You can't go either. Experience pain and death on Earth. Why do you want that for yourself?"
"I have to go," I said, and the betrayed look on your face tore through my soul. "It's my time." I stared into your green eyes; they mirrored my own--but a storm raged within yours, clouded with a desire to be free of suffering. "What are the highs without any lows?" I asked, knowing you didn't understand.
Tears filled my eyes as I buried my face into your chest. You were always the logical one when it really came down to it. "I would have followed you anywhere," I said, clenching my hands at the base of your back. I'd never forget you--I knew--even on Earth.
You felt just like the rain in the fiercest storm, and had always been my piece of perfection, but it was time to let go. We kissed goodbye, as if it were the first and last time, pulling each other close, the winds swirling as your lips pressed hard against mine. And I truly wished things could be different. But the need to be mortal, plays tricks on us all . . . and I left you alone on the mountain.
And so I lived, searching, hoping to someday meet the man who's wild and free--something born of the forest.
Wishing someday he'd look into my eyes . . . and I'd see that a storm raged there, clouded with a resolve to conquer suffering, to be good, kind, and strong. And I'd smile back at him, knowing that he'd found me.
And so: The pains of the past bad choices and decisions will be forgotten. I'll let go of those bringing me down so I can start fresh, healing from a brokenness I no longer claim as my own.
Don't forget the pain or results of decisions made. They are lessons, so don't forget them. Do use them to grow and heal, though. You deserve that.
ReplyDeleteGood. I refuse to be the victim I was.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie