Saturday, July 21, 2012

My fifth book was released and so was my obituary

What do you want to emulate?  What will people say about you after you die?

    I may not be the smartest, wealthiest or prettiest person around, but I have spunk and I get things done the best way I can.  People may call me quirky and eccentric because instead of swatting flies with a swatter, I spray them with a water bottle.  After they quickly drop to the ground wet, that's when I step on them.  

Instead of using a scrapper to get ice from my windshield, I dump lukewarm water on it and all the ice instantly melts away.

Instead of standing on a ladder to prune bushes, I use the window.

I cool off fast food by holding it out of the van's window!
 Yes, I suck at photo editing, but you get the point.  
This is supposed to be someone holding a corndog out of a car window.

Since we can't afford a trash compactor OR a second garbage can, I solved the problem myself.

When I get mad at my husband, I think of creative ways to get him back--like the time he didn't unclog the toilet and then found me outside patiently waiting for him like this AND bringing property values down all in the same day.
    P.S.  These pictures--which Cade ended up taking--are real and YES, I did have short shorts on--don't freak out!
 HERE's that story if you're interested.

All of these things and more just describe what a creative goofball I can be.  What people don't understand is that I have to do things myself.  I can't afford paying people to do it.  Cade isn't around to help since he's hardly even in the same state.
    Instead of sitting around and feeling bad, I've had to think of the quickest, cheapest solution.
    You may be wondering why I'm telling you about this.  Well, it's because I thought about what I want my life to stand for.  What do I want people to think when I die?  Well, if I can prove one thing through life, I want to show people that they can do anything they put their minds to.  I don't care how many excuses they make saying why they can't do it--it's time to start thinking of ways to accomplish your dreams.
    I wrote my first book The Golden Sky over ten years ago.  It took years and years to go through the publishing process.  People said I couldn't do it--I started agreeing with them.  It wasn't until after pulling myself from the dumps that I started thinking of ways I could make my dreams come true.  Now I have five books out!  And I'm thrilled to tell you that the fifth one--a silly nonfiction anthology--came out today.
    Just more of my antics . . . AND how they seem to get me in trouble with people, constantly.

    Do you have a dream?  Is it time for you to stop thinking of reasons why you can't and think of why you can?
    When I die, I hope people won't just remember the silly things I did or why I did them.  I hope they'll remember instead what those actions stood for.  And that is this:  Anyone can accomplish great things--they just need to try.  And I hope that's what they'll put in my obituary, right next to the picture of me on the john!

    Signing off,
The proud author of FIVE BOOKS.  Yahoo!


  1. I'm so happy for you! :) I'm sorry that I haven't bought them all, it's just that purchasing them isn't an option right now, but I promise I'll buy yours and Melyndas books in the near future and I can't wait to read them all! You both are amazing and fun and awesome :)

  2. Elisa, you're certainly "crazy" (lol), but I still love you and what you do. I think it's too early in the morning to laugh out loudly and causing my partner to wonder what's wrong with me. Warning, don't read Eliza's blog early in the morning.

    Congratulations. I'm wrapping up my book and will join you down that publication path soon.

  3. LMAO there is always another way to do things, one just has to look. But sticking the food out the window may get bugs on it, I suppose that just adds flavor though haha congrats on book number five.

  4. This post was worth writing just so you could post the picture of the corn dog out the window...LMAO

  5. I love that picture of you on the toilet! That'll teach him! :) You are spunky and figure out how to do admirable trait! Glad you didn't let the nay sayers let you stop!

    Congratulations on the new book!!

  6. Way to go girl! This post is really on the spot ( or should I say on the pot...). I finally found a kindred spirit who sprays flies before annihilating them, I do the same but I use Windex sometimes cause that's the only spray bottle I can find. You on the toilet, that is for sure hard to top. :)

  7. I love how creative you are! I wish I was that creative. Can't wait to get your fifth book and I plan on buying "Bible Girl and the Bad Boy" - once I find a bookstore that carries it because apparently, the Seattle Barnes & Noble doesn't :(

  8. Congrats, Elisa! Win or lose, nobody can say you didn't try your damnedest (and just for the record, I think that makes you a winner no matter what the outcome).

    As for creative solutions around the house...when someone asks me if I can do something, I answer "I don't know...but I can definitely fake it." :)

  9. And, you actually are smart & beautiful as well. An embarrassment of riches :-).

  10. I echo FrankandMary with the smart and beautiful!

    Congrats on the high five Elisa. I am excited to see what acts of courage and creativity await you in the future.

  11. Fab 5!!! You are AMAZING Elisa! I have had the pleasure to watch on the sidelines as you achieve all these awesome things, you are my She-roe! x

  12. You will eternally through your books, your children, and of course, your special spot in Heaven. God will laugh so hard when he sees you sitting on the potty with the newspaper.


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  14. You are nice, creative, brave, interesting and encouraging. So is the post.
    (There is one latter mistakes in the previous comment 'creatove' hehe, deleted and add new one, but my name and link or profile seems to linger there, haha) Sorry.

  15. Sometimes it's SO HARD to remember the reasons why you can accomplish your dream rather than why you can't accomplish it. Like you said, if you hear it enough, you start believing it!

  16. Congratulations on living your dream and never quitting. That's the greatest stuff of life. As I embark on my own dream, just three months into it, your celebration is quite encouraging... though I must pause in dreaming to buy groceries so my kids don't starve. :)

  17. How absolutely amazing!!! Heartfelt congrats to you. I just love that photo. It is crazy good.

  18. You are just stunning, E! I am so excited for you! Congratulations!!!

  19. The toilet pic. That is priceless and inspiring. Glad I came across you via voiceBoks. Can't wait to jump in and read some more! New follower ;)

  20. Congratulations. Someone told me to come and look at your blog because you are funny. They were right. Really like your writing.

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