Sunday, May 6, 2012

Dangers of Story Plotting in Restaurants

Adrienne deWolfe has agreed to guest post here today!  I'm so excited.  Enjoy.


Writing Novels That Sell


Brainstorming:  
Dangers of Story Plotting in Restaurants
By Adrienne deWolfe

So there we sat, two innocent but extremely vocal writers, brainstorming the story plot of my Paranormal Romance in a restaurant.  We’ll call this eatery “Benny’s.” 
    On this particular day, Patty had graciously agreed to reschedule her afternoon's itinerary of laundry-folding and sock-matching to act as my brainstorming buddy.   
    When I get stuck and can’t make sense of the convoluted story plot for my Paranormal Romance (Wolfspell, Autumn 2012), I bribe Patty with lunch. Patty is a Romance novelist who aspires to be published in Fantasy fiction and is well read in every genre.   For this reason, Patty has served as a guest speaker in the story plotting lessons that I teach in my online course, How to Write a Romance Novel that Sells.
    As a published novelist (and brainstorming professional), Patty understands how the rusty wheels turn in the minds of New York editors.  This is an important trait in a story plot consultant.  But Patty’s most important credential is her sense of humor.   To put it mildly, Patty is a hoot!
    Picture the scene as my story plotting accomplice and I prepared for our brainstorming mission: 
    Patty and I drove to the restaurant in separate cars.   We arrived incognito (no pens, no notebooks).  We were seated at a central table, in the busiest section of the eatery.  We decided to pig out on hot fudge brownie sundaes to improve our facility for story plotting.
    It was approximately 1:00 p.m. on a weekday, during the latter half of Lunch Rush.  Fellow diners were crammed into booths and tables that were roughly 12 inches from my elbow.  Servers were squeezing by with humongous trays loaded with BLT's, chicken salad, and the daily soup special.  
    During the following story plotting incident, I’d like to note (in my defense) that I was guzzling my third cola. The sugar-loaded, caffeinated kind.
My conversation with Patty went something like this:
A:  I need to get rid of (G).
P:  Who’s this guy again?
A:  You know.  The one who slept with (L).
P:  Oh yeah.  Now I remember.
A:  I hate him!  I need him to die!
P:  As long as there's plenty of motivation . . .
A:  Oh, there's motivation, all right.  I'm sick of him.
P:  You thinking about bullets?  
A:  Naw.  Something slow and torturous.
P:  How ‘bout putting a box of scorpions under the sheets? 
A:  Eew!
P:  Suffocation by pillow?
A:  Risky.   He'd be a flailer.  
P:  Worried about phlegm on the Egyptian cotton?
A:  Get serious!
P:  Uh . . . right.   How 'bout death cap?  
A:  I don't have time to research fatal mushrooms.  'Sides.  Poison's much too tidy. 
P:  No guts, no gory, right?
A:  (Laughs)  
P:  Well, if you want to kill him in a grisly way, make it big and splashy.  Like a grenade down his pants.
A:  That’s it!  Exploding body parts.  No traceable corpse . . .  I like the way you think!   He’ll go out with a bang!  Thanks, Patty!  An explosion would be a great way to kill him.  I can’t wait to get home!
    At this precise moment, the restaurant hushed.   At least forty pairs of eyes drilled into me.  Mouths were gaping.   Forks were hovering.  Chocolate syrup was dripping from the dirty dishes that our server was balancing above my shoulder.
    Patty never missed a beat.  As cool as the proverbial cuke, Patty looked up at our distraught server and drawled, “Check please.  My friend has a busy day ahead.”
    Now you can appreciate why I call Patty when I need to brainstorm the story plot of my Paranormal Romance novel.  Patty's the perfect partner for making a scene – and writing one.



About Adrienne deWolfe

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Originally published by Bantam and Avon Books, Adrienne deWolfe’s 5 Romance novels have earned 9 fiction-writing awards, including the Best Historical Romance of the Year.  Currently, she is in the middle of a virtual book tour for her new ebook, How to Write Wildly Popular Romances, which has been released in conjunction with her online writing course, How to Write a Romance Novel That Sells (which starts May 21.)  Adrienne invites you to enter her raffles for great prizes (including autographed collector's items) by visiting her website, WritingNovelsThatSell.com.  Follow Adrienne on TwitterFacebookand Google Plus.

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20 comments:

  1. LMAO I can see how that would be a tad awkward. But oh so fun to laugh at everyones faces as they glared.

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    1. Hi, Pat! So glad you got a chuckle out of my restaurant adventure. I have to confess, my critique partner (Patty) gets me in all kinds of brainstorming trouble at local eateries. We've actually been given our own (out of the way) booth at an independent restaurant (that you've probably never heard of, unless you visit Austin, TX, frequently.)

      Thanks for reading!

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  2. That is absolutely priceless! How I would have loved to have been in that room to see all those reactions. :)

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. You are absolutely invited on my next brainstorming adventure with Patty!

      Of course, you may want to wear your jogging shoes in case fishducky (commentator, below) calls the cops again. Word of advice: when cops have corralled you behind the soda machines, it is important to remember to look as innocent as possible and profess repeatedly, "No habla englais."

      Hugs,
      You Know Who

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  3. Sorry--if I had known that was you I wouldn't have called the cops!!

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    1. No problem. I can let by-gones be by-gones.

      By the way: when they asked me my name, rank and serial number, I gave them yours. You don't mind, do you? (Uh . . . You might want to drive granny-style in Austin next time you come, just in case the cops pull you over.)

      Thanks for reading!

      Adrienne

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    2. Omg that was an EPIC reply!!!!

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  4. Hilarious post. Thank you for sharing.

    Love,
    Janie Lola

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    1. Thanks, Janie! It's like I keep telling my writing students: your prose will ALWAYS be funnier a) when you consume chocolate in mass quantities b) when you guzzle sugar-loaded-caffeinated beverages in mass quantities, and c) when you write on less than 2 hours of sleep. (In your underwear and/or bunny slippers.)

      (Shucks. I really shouldn't be giving out my billion-dollar writing secrets this way.)

      Best wishes,
      Adrienne

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  5. That story is almost too funy to be true. :-) Loved it. Thanks for sharing

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    1. So glad it made your day! (Patty, my critique partner, is pleading the Fifth Amendment about the whole ordeal. The Wuss.)

      Thanks for stopping by to comment!

      Adrienne

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  6. This one made me laugh out loud. I can still imagine the customers' faces LOL! Awesome post. Thanks again for guesting on my blog ;0)

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    1. Hi, Elisa!

      It has been SO MUCH FUN guest-writing for your blog! I hope you'll invite me to come back. I think your readers might get a kick out of another adventure from my writer's life, a story that I've tentatively titled, "Help! My Printer Has a Poltergeist!"

      (Why, yes. Every word is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Girl Scout's honor!)

      Thank you for all you do for us writers and readers!

      Virtual hugs,
      Adrienne

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  7. Talk about funny make me laugh, which made hubby ask what I was reading and so I start to tell him and he just tunes out so I stop talking and then continue that it is about how some needs to die and a blogger when mad with a knife and he just nodded and said ok see I knew he wasn't listening...........lol

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    1. Hi, Jo Anne!

      You totally cracked me up! (I guess now we're even.) Give a hug to your hubby for me!

      Wishing you much joy,
      Adrienne

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  8. Great story...serves them right for evesdropping!

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    1. Jennifer Wolfe!

      What excellent taste in names you have!!

      I bow to your great wisdom re: restaurant eavesdroppers, Wolfe Lady.

      Thanks for dropping by to comment!

      Wishing you the best,
      Adrienne deWolfe

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  9. ROFL I worry so much about that kind of thing if I'm ever discussing my writing in public.

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  10. Howdy, Carrie!

    I can completely understand your reluctance to brainstorm in restaurants.

    However, after surviving the scene that Patty (my critique partner) caused at "Benny's," I can say with complete authority that when you have enough sugar and caffeine in your system, you can weather almost ANY public embarrassment (I can't guarantee that you'll weather the chaos with aplomb, however.)

    So be brave . . . and keep brainstorming!

    Hugs,
    Adrienne

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