Saturday, April 23, 2011

I Went Sky Diving With Edward Cullen and Jim Croce

I went skydiving!  (The video’s below)  Sorry to just throw that at you, but I’m pretty excited!

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So, yesterday was one of the best days of my life and today is awesome too.  I’m sitting in a place called “The Alaska”--which is fantastic since I’m not even in Alaska, but it feels like it.  The cabin has a jetted tub that sits in the middle of the room by a fire place and a bear rug . . . Thing.  The cabin even has A PATIO--which is almost as cool as a new pair of boots! 

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The woods here are amazing.  I made Cade go outside for pictures at sunset last night. 

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I had so much fun taking pictures of him.  That guy is wonderful; he thought of everything.  He packed an overnight bag with new clothes and my camera.  He had the Alaskan staff stock the fridge with chocolate strawberries.  Sparkling cider snuggled in some ice by the tub.  Candles flickered everywhere.  The guy even sprinkled rose petals on the floor before I walked in.

I’ve never seen him be this romantic and when I walked into the room, I cried.  He laughed so hard, “Do you like it?”

“I flippin’ LOVE it!” I sobbed turning into that character in Bedazzled when he sees the beautiful sunset.

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“You know, I told one of the guys at work what I had planned and he said he wished he was married to me.”

I wiped my eyes and laughed.  “Those guys are hilarious!”  I suddenly dropped my purse and threw my arms around Cade’s neck.  “Thank you!  This has been the most wonderful day--except for the flooded toilet.”  We both laughed.

You see, earlier yesterday everything seemed to go wrong.  I wrote my blog, then as soon as I heard Cade lurking closer, I moved faster than a super villain and straightened my hair like a master.  I went to try on a shirt Cade gave me, but I got stuck!  It was one of those awesome push-up bra tank tops--that would have made me look like I had a set!  When Cade came into the room, I didn’t see him; my arms were stuck above my head and in a muffled scream, I said, “Help me!  Help.” 

He saved me, one rip at a time and that’s when I heard the zombie elf giggling amidst a volcano of noise.  We ran into the bathroom--which was overflowing with disgustingness.  Anyway, after taking care of all that, we finally left the house around 1:00 and I still had no idea where we were going.  It was killing me so much, I even looked through Cade’s recent calls--what can I say, my last name should be Holmes.  But Cade is too smart for me.  He didn’t name any of the recent contacts and when I went to call one of the numbers, he caught me with his phone.  “Caught ya!  I knew it,” he said.  “That’s why I called from my friend’s phone.”

I didn’t wear the tight shirt--big shocker--instead Cade had me wear some “warm clothes” that actually fit.  We headed North and when we stopped in front of the sky diving place, I nearly pooped my pants!


I’ve always wanted to go sky diving.  The energy in that building was amazing.  The eclectic group of people seemed like a society formed from daring necessity.  We had a ball talking to everyone.  It wasn’t until we got paired with our tandem instructors and video people that I got nervous. 

They paired Cade with Jim Croce--a man who died in a plane crash, and me with a guy who I thought looked like my version on Edward Cullen.  I’m not a huge Twilight fan--let me send that thought in the wind.  I thought Edward was obsessive, overbearing, controlling.  If I could pick one literary character to NOT go sky diving with, it would be him or Captain Ahab!  There’s something about jumping from a plane--with a vamp--it doesn’t bode well.  It’s like facing death TWICE!

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To top things off, my cameraman looked like a preacher I always knew growing up.  It wasn’t until the video guy started dropping the “F” bomb that I questioned his faith.

“Are you related to any pastors?” I asked the “F Bomber.”

“No.”

“Well, you look like a very successful one I used to know . . .  You could probably make a good living, if you held services before people jump.”

He laughed so hard.  “Even though I swear a lot.”

“You could still do awesome.  Pass around an offering plate, tell people this might be their last moment and you’ll be golden!”

I watched a few people jump before me.  When my turn came, that’s when I finally got nervous.  This is just a dream, I closed my eyes and instead of jumping, I just leaned into the wind like when I let go of Zeke’s ashes for the first time. 

I kept my eyes closed for a couple seconds of the sixty-second free fall.  It was beautiful!  I was a bird--that had no wings and couldn’t fly--but still I was a freakin’ bird!!!  That’s when I opened my eyes and forgot about everything except God’s beauty.  My cheeks flapped as I thought about how my teeth might freeze and then fall from my face.  The world looked beautiful from up there in the frigid--teeth chattering weather.  I almost cried thinking about God’s awesomeness and the fact that a little spit dribbled from the side of my mouth and probably into my instructor’s face.

After he pulled the shoot, he let me do a few turns and then we landed.  I ran up to Cade and hugged him.  “You jumped with Jim Croce and you survived!  That was sooo awesome!"


“Wasn’t it!” he hugged me back.  “Of course I’d make it.  You know our song, Time in a Bottle, you know who wrote it . . . right?”

“Croce?” I asked.

“Yep,” he smiled, “today was our day.”

“Happy anniversary, man,” a guy said to Cade and slapped him on the back. 

We started  walking toward the hanger and I turned to Cade.  “Were you nervous?  Did you have a hard time jumping?”

“You wanna know the truth?”

I nodded.

“We got up there, and something with the pressure or something.  Anyway, I was strapped to Croce, who could hardly speak English and all the sudden I had to . . .”  Cade looked around and whispered, “I had to fart.”

“Oh my gosh!” I giggled so hard.

“Well, I held it, until I had to jump from the plane, and I think it gave me an extra boost.”

“So you abandoned the plane AND a bad fart?”  I laughed so hard, my side hurt.  “Cade, I have to, I want to blog this sooo bad.  Can I?”

He looked at me and chuckled, “Sure.  This is your day.”

So, we had an amazing time.  I think the Hanger Hippies were surprised I jumped.  Before we went into the plane I saw a man with dreadlocks and he was saying, “Do you think that girl will actually jump?”

That’s why I waved to him when we walked back into the hanger.  I set my gloves and helmet right by him and smiled, “That could get pretty addicting!”

He scoffed and slapped the counter.  “You know what Kevin said about you?” he asked.

“What?”

“He said that normally skinny girls are hard to dive with because they end up being so light, gravity will flip the both of you upside down.  But he said you went out of that plane easier than any skinny girl he’s dove with and it was one of the best tandem jumps he’s made.”

That made me grin.

“You’re a natural,” he said.  “You shocked me today, and you’re a natural.”

So, I did it.  I’m a natural faller.  Me and gravity . . . We get along. 

I unclogged a toilet.  I ripped a new shirt.  I became a bird and I went to Alaska all in one day.

I’m just excited today because Cade ordered a breakfast and it’s coming straight to our cabin.  I can’t wait.  Biscuits and gravy, here I come!