Thursday, March 3, 2022

A Tumor and Joining the Ukrainian Army

 It’s a good thing Sky is here—making this fun. Some of the scan results from yesterday are in, and unfortunately I have a new tumor in my femur. Why I’ve turned into a tumor factory is STILL a mystery to me. Plus, I’m a little tired of bad news that leads to radiation. Honestly…radiation is THE WORST.

“That’s it,” I told Sky. “I’m joining the Ukrainian army.”

She blinked, knowing that I’m half joking. “You have cancer. They won’t want you fighting for them.”

I gasped. “Sky!” Then I whispered, “I’ve heard they’re paying $3,300 a month for foreign help—any kind of foreign help.”

“Mom, if it were trench warfare you’d unload one clip and need to take a nap. You couldn’t even get out of the trench!” Then, because we have a ridiculous sense of humor, she broke out laughing like she’d never—ever—stop. 

I stared at her. “Well, it would suck to carry a gun ‘and’ walk more than a quarter of a mile. Fine. I’ll take my chances with radiation.”

A patient coordinator walked by during this conversation—which had made my infusion a little more interesting. I flagged him down. “Excuse me. We have a problem,” I said, deciding to tease Sky because of her sassiness. “My daughter is cheating at cards. Isn’t it enough that I have cancer, and now she’s cheating?”

“You want me to call security?” He winked, and I knew he smiled wide under the mask.

“Mama! You’re winning by 50 points! If I’m cheating that’s really sad!” Then she turned to the man. “And if I did cheat, no one would know because I’m so good at slight-of-hand!”

That made me giggle, especially later, since several people stopped by to razz Sky about cheating while her “poor mother” should be allowed to win.

So, today has been eventful: I got a new tumor, I won at cards, I can’t join the Ukrainian army, and I almost met the security guards at the cancer center. 

Sometimes this feels like a rollercoaster that won’t stop. I’m just glad my family makes the ride fun and that we’re enjoying every second we have.

Sky took this picture (below), right after I accused her of cheating at cards.


  1. I am sorry radiation sucks so much that joining any army might for a moment seem like a option

  2. They say laughter is the best medicine. While it won't cure your cancer, I'm sure laughter and your wonderful and ever so inspiring daughter, as well as Mike and the rest of the crew, makes living with it easier. Not to forget your own strenght, power, and amazing ability to always win at cards. I'm keeping you in my heart, sending love to you, Mike, and the kids.