Friday, January 3, 2014

What will you do, just to make friends?


    I wanted to be their friends.  Things have been like this for as long as I can remember.  The two women and a lady I call "the Snoot" laughed and talked.  They looked so happy except when they looked at me. I stood next to the car and tried talking to those three ladies.
    But things never go how I hope.  After all, those women are boot wearers.  They look super fancy all the time with perfect hair and nails.  They know how to layer their eye shadow--an art I can only dream of.
    Anyway, I smiled and waved.  Even their body language showed how much they dislike me.
    "This should be a fabulous year," one woman said, putting her back to me.
    I guess that's when my feelings really got hurt.  I refused to give up though, and I thought of how I could make it into their click.
    I'd just read this story in Guideposts:  

    There are a few amazing blog posts about it, too, and all of them really spoke to me.  It's about picking a special word for the year, one word to live by.  I turned to those women as they quieted down.
    "I'm excited for this year, too," I said.
    "Oh . . . how nice," one lady said.
    "And I just led a safari in Africa," the Snoot's eyes practically bragged!
    "Anyway, I read a story about how you can pick a special word to live by."  
    They finally turned to me.
    I cleared my throat as if a spotlight shone on my face and I talked into a microphone.  "If you could pick one special word to live by for this year, what would it be?"
    The first woman stood poised.  "I'd pick the word makeup.  This year I've vowed to look my best.  I won't be this young forever and I want to make the most of it and shine while I can."
    "But there are other words.  Comfort.  Kindness.  Hope."
    "No," she said.  "I'd just prefer makeup more than anything."
    O-kay.  I hadn't heard of anyone picking that word yet.
    The other woman nodded.  "That's a good one.  I would pick money.  The one thing that will get me joy this year is making more money and saving it so I can get a big house."
    I cleared my throat.
    "My word," the Snoot said with her nose in the air.  "My word would be motherhood because that's what I emulate every day of my life.  Some people wish they could be more like me, but instead they spend too much time working out, or making money.  They even spend too much time trying to make friends with people who are better than them.  This year I want to be the best mother ever.  Because I know that's what I really am inside."
    Her words were so condescending--so RUDE!  Instead of thinking how much I want to be like them, I kept wondering, how do I always meet such weirdos!
    "And you, what's your name again?" Max Factor asked.
    "Elisa, what word . . . would someone like you pick?"
    I thought of last year.  Then, I thought about how much I've changed and how proud I am of that.  "Well, you picked makeup," I pointed.  "You picked money . . . and you picked motherhood."  I closed my eyes, nodded and laughed.  "The word I'm going with.  Well, I guess my word for this moment and this year would have to be bullshit!"
    You should have seen their faces.  I smiled at them before walking away.  I sat in my van, pulled out a paper and wrote.  It was a symbolic piece, something to share another time.  But for today, I thought I'd share my word of the year with you.  I would have picked JOY, but something else slid into it's place for a second.  
    It was probably terrible what I did, but the fact remains, I'm tired of them putting me (and others) down, 'cause they think they're better and that's just a bunch of bull.


  1. I think it was brilliant and I think God was laughing and having a great time watching you!!! Good for you!!! Love it!!!

  2. God likes to laugh . . surely he does, because he's the creator of all joy.

  3. Just a minute--I have to wipe the coffee off the computer screen! You reminded me of s story--of course:

    Two women, Sadie & Rose, meet on the street. They haven't seen each other in years.
    SADIE: "It's so good to see you. You look great. How's your husband?
    ROSE: "He's wonderful. He's just been made president of his law firm. This year they gave him a $2,000,000 Christmas bonus!"
    S: "Fantastic! And your son?"
    R: "He's a doctor, you know, & he's chief surgeon at Johns Hopkins."
    S: "Fantastic! And what about your daughter?"
    R: "She married a wonderful man who gives her everything she could ever want. She has a live-in staff of servants."
    S: "Fantastic!"
    R: "But enough about me, what have you been doing?"
    S: "I went to charm school."
    R: "You went to charm school? What did they teach you?
    S: "You remember how I used to say "bullshit" all the time? They taught me to say "fantastic", instead!"

  4. I don't have kids and I'm not a mom, BUT I have witnessed first hand the annoying "My child sells more cookies than your child" moms.

    Snoots should be avoided at all costs ;)

  5. You have no link at the top for your other story, just thought I would mention that first. looking for a friend guess you found the enemy instead. Why you bother time and time again to fit into a crowd that certainly does not fit you is a source of amazement to me. No matter how many cookies you sell, you are the one and only best mother for your panties and all :) Love your word to live by this year, but I am guessing it will change. Now I have to think of a word and it sure won't be any of the ones the snooties picked!

  6. LOL sounds like the correct word for them, you should stick with that one more often

  7. Good for you! After a while you reach a point where you realize you don't need assholes for friends. Seems like you've made it there.

    On a related note your pants story struck me as funny. Nearly the same thing happened to me about 5 months back. I was up in Canada meeting with my team from work (they're all up there, and I'm the line guy down here in the states). I was wearing brand new dress pants and then when I went to the restroom (right in the middle of the day) yep, the zipper came off as in tore right off. Fortunately it was my last day there and I had my luggage in the car...but it was a loooong walk back to that car I tell you. :)

  8. I'm looking at your FB pic. Could they be...hmmm. a little jealous of you?

  9. This post made me shudder! I used to work at a place were the staff was all women, (very cliquey) and I had a hard time fitting in. So I know how hurtful it is to have someone turn their back on you as if you don't matter. It's just mean! I would never do that to anyone, and I suspect you never would either. So I love love love that you got one over on these women!

  10. Yes! You tell those mean girls! Why is it that these girls never change from middle school? You know they were just nasty to everyone. They even exist with middle age. I've been dealing with a bunch of 60 year old mean girls in this ladies club I joined, and thought would be so great for business. Boy, was I wrong! These are the times I'd like one of those noise guns, that discreetly sends some perfect vibration wave that makes that person puke and diarrhea on themselves;)

  11. Elisabeth,

    Since I am new to your blog I couldn't tell if you were "writing" a good story or "telling" a good story. Either way it is funny and so true in so many mommy circles. As the new mom in town, I have found it very challenging to break into the established groups. Thanks for sharing!

  12. I'm more in love with you than ever before. And I'm longing for orange panties. I'll wear them with a skirt that's way too short and I won't cross my legs when I sit down.


  13. At least you called them on it! It's women like them that make me not generally like women! And it's women like you, Melynda, Stephanie, Janie, and Fishducky that make proud of women...why can't you all live in Ireland!?!

  14. To PADDED CELL PRINCESS--If I move to Ireland, can I hang "MY ARMS ITCH" over my bed?

  15. Oh how I love you. Those women remind me of the pathetic little trio in the movie Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.

  16. Dear Elisa,
    I'm with "FrankandMary." I suspect those women are jealous of you. They may not know it. Or admit it, even to themselves. But that kind of unkindness comes from their own insecurity. Think of all your talents--music, writing, mothering, drawing. Woman! You are a marvel. And you certainly found the right word!

    And "Fishducky's" story is a hoot!


  17. Oh Elisa! You never cease to amaze me. Can't wait to read your next post.
    And thank you Maggie for the compliment.

  18. You're all so sweet! Thank you :0)

    Here's the link to that story. Thanks for noticing that Siv.

  19. You have got to be kidding me on these women! Even without the context, they sound stuck up and conceited and just plain horrible! Glad you called them out on it.

  20. Joy and bullshit, I think I'll make a sampler, as soon as I learn to needlepoint. I will find the joy under all this bullshit. Why do we always want to be friends with the people who least deserve our friendship?

  21. At first I thought this was a middle school embarrassment story. I was going to offer my own story to ease your pain. It involved a rope-climbing episode in gym class that had me running hunched over to the bathroom before anyone saw was happening.

    In any case, these ladies you describe were no more mature than little twelve year olds. Your posts are always engaging to read and yes, you chose the perfect word ;-)

  22. You go girl! These women do NOT sound like people that you should be friends with. What kind of people pick beauty and money and say things like that to people. When she said, "Someone like you..." that really annoyed me. You are such a kind person- they don't know what they are missing!


  23. i once got in my uncle freddie's GI JOE Hummer, and asked him why he galavants around town with all the ladies, and still goes to church. we walked inside, his arm around me, and never said a word. he loved me in spite of the fact that i probably could have held my toungue. not my best moment, but i can always do better.

    i tweet at @Samuel_Clemons

  24. You are awesome. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall, car, pavement (mosquito biting the Snoots perfect nose tip). I would have loved a picture of their faces.

    They're shallow, self-absorbed idiots. You're so much better than that - and now (deep down) they know this too :D

    How you held your cool for so long is way beyond me but I'm so glad you finally let loose!

  26. Elisa,
    I just tried to invite you to my "Happy Writers" tribe in Triberr, but I never could get the invitation to go through. So if you're interested, try searching for me, or look for "Happy Writers" tribe.
    PS--I apologize for "Hijacking" this comment thread, but I didn't think you'd see a direct message on Twitter since you have so many followers. :-)

  27. I agree, I don't need people like this in my life ;) Thanks for your kind comments and for sharing your stories :0)

    I'd love to be in your tribe. I couldn't find a place to request to join. I'm listed as "Elisa Hirsch" on triberr. I hope you can find me that way :0) I even have bones if I need to pay some ;)
    I'm so glad you posted this here. Lately Twitter has become a swamp of messages. I haven't been able to get through all of them.
    Talk to you soon.

  28. Bullshit is the best word ever! I was thinking of using the word Wine but I was worried God might confuse it with Whine.

  29. You are not only my hero, but a hero to many.
    The sad thing is, it is their children that are the school bullies and will grow up to be like them.
    The good news is that your children are the hope for the future. You are awesome, genuine and I have no doubt God is proud of panties & all. Thanks for saying what needs to be said.

  30. Huge hugs! Bullshit is am awesome word, made me smile, and created a gleeful joy in me as well. If God was unhappy with your honest answer, imagine what He thought of the three amigo's words?

  31. oh Elisa! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! No one should be treated like that! each of those women are missing out on something truly amazing! They care more about their pride, their money, their beauty than being TRUE disciples of the Lord and the charity that goes with that. They will get what their heart desires...but it won't be lasting. Money gets spent, beauty wears away, and "pride goeth before the fall."

    But Joy, that is something that will last you, and it will always brighten up the hearts of those around you!

    I'm just those women just not listen in Church? I'm sure your talks in church don't teach "Be prideful, shun those who aren't as good as you, work towards money." What do they take from what is being preached in church?

    We love you Elisa, you know that right? *insert smiley face here*

    JadeLouise Designs

  32. Honesty is to be commended. It was pretty funny I have to say. I am glad you picked the word Joy - it sounds like a great focus. Can't wait to see what it brings you this year :) (and I really mean that - no BS :)

  33. After looking at all of your comments, it is obvious that you have way more going for you that Snoots and her gang of B's. Good for you for not playing along. Another way to prove you are not a Stepford Wife! YEA!

  34. Wow, I had to scroll down forever just to comment on this one!

    Bullshit, indeed, Elisa. Bull. Shit.

    Good for you! I couldn't be more proud. I just wish I had been there to see it all go down!

  35. I always let those kind of people go right on feeling superior, poor things. It's usually all they've got. ;)

  36. I recently heard about this Word idea and am thrilled to see you write about it, too. My word this year is SACRIFICE. Ouch. Yup. It's interesting already to see what it means from God's perspective as I live my life.

  37. Screw 'em. Good on you.

  38. I love your choice. Though I'd say they are jealous. I just want to survive the year and have some "me" time.

  39. Appropriate. It is such a great word suitable for almost all occasions. Maybe next time you'll get that exchange on video as the facial expressions were most memorable I am sure.

    I am going with "giddyup" as my 2014 word.

  40. Here we are again. Another year, another word. Are you still going with bullshit? LOL! You keep stealing my word :)

  41. My word for the year would be "masterwachinbateeviating". I just made it up. It contains two of my most favorite things to do. Not really, but the woman in your story seem to need a little bit of it.