Sunday, September 22, 2013

Ask Elisa . . . Again

    Once again, I feel the need to share some of the funny ways people have found my site, and I'd also like to answer their questions.  
    These are the search keywords that have brought them here.
Note: The Search Keywords are in black.  My lovely comments are in red.

Are mimes worse than clowns?
Honestly, it depends on the mime and the clown.  For example, which one of these people would you rather meet in a dark alley?



or #2?

How about #3  (Which I find VERY creepy--is this what happened to Quasimodo after he died?)

or #4?
These two just look like nice people.  (Except for how the one in the back is flashing a fake gun.)  But really, even I could beat them down if they proved evil.

Here's another search:

Ugly pimple lady
What the heck!  Why did that search bring them here? I'm a bit stunned . . . and sad.

Marsha Brady still sexy?
Yes, she's still quite pretty.  Take a look.

Puss in boots eyes surgery
Dear, sweet, person.  Yes, Puss-in-boots does have amazing eyes, but I don't think you need to have a surgery to get that same look.  Just buy black contact lenses and some mascara--vwa-la!


ugly man tall nerd
Is this the man you're searching for?Photobucket

Who pees standing?
Great question.  In fact, I've written three blogs about this.  
And in answer to your fabulous search: Once again, it depends on the person.  

For example:

Book Lovers Pee Standing Click here to read that post.


Intellectuals Pee Sitting  (That link is here)


Manly Men Pee Standing (That link is here)

Got it?

Lady dragged by classy dogs?
Okay . . . what?  Dogs like this?Photobucket
That's more terrifying than clowns!

Hotboxing pirates
I decided to conduct a search of my own,
and here are the pictures I found:

So high, they traded sexes.

No one is shocked by this handsome revelation.

Seriously, who is this guy?

And finally . . .
Wow, I really have no words for this picture other than:
    In the afterlife, will sister Mary Wana be judged for this more harshly than other nuns?  She breathed defiled air AND wore mascara on the same day--talk about a double sin!

Very lazy blogger
Why did you find my blog from this search--how rude!
    Come forth, you fiendish searcher, and tell me your name.  I may be a lot of things, but hopefully "lazy" isn't one of them.  I'd rather be called "an idiot" than have people think I'm a slug.

    On that note, I'd like to show you a screenshot I took today.  Pretty hilarious if you ask me.  I might have to respond to these searches next time.



  1. See, now I want to do funny searches to ensure that you see them i.e. Elisa awesome pants mom, EC is a boss mom, EC writes a best seller, etc, etc

    Seriously though, how did they find you?
    And did they comment once they did...
    Clowns vs. Aliens, now that's a real question.

  2. SOOO hilarious! I totally want to be a boss mom LOL!

    And Clowns vs. Aliens. That might need to be an entire blog post. It's quite a toss up though. Who do you think would win?

    I told one of my friends how much I love writing these "search posts."
    She said, "Aren't you worried about offending people if they are regular followers now?"

    I said, "No. These people deserve answers!" *Still giggling*

  3. "Buttcrack lover"..hahahahahahahahahaha

  4. Funny post! I assume all those weird search questions above have really been asked--that's sort of scary!!

  5. Elisa, this was awesome! Had no idea that a "search keyword" option existed. Just did mine and found my top one was "weenis"

  6. Paige,
    I know, right?! LOL!

    It is sooo crazy that people actually search for these things.

    "Weenis!" You just made me laugh so hard!

  7. What a riot. Two possible reasons: search engines are wackos or people are wackos for asking such stupid questions, I'm going with the # 2. Diet coke makes your breast swell? Really? I wish...

  8. Well it makes our introduction at the launch party seem dull in comparison. :)

  9. Alessandra-
    Me too! I would have such big boobs--I'd be in the Guinness book of records and everything!

    So fun :0) That was such an awesome launch.

  10. hahaha oh these are so fun to look at, did one in rhyme a while back, my latest funny one that three found me from was Port a Pottie..haha..think they are trying to tell me something?

    buttcrack crack lover was too funny, who actually types this crap in search enignes though, geez

  11. That is so crazy funny. The very topics are crazy funny. I don't know what to say; you had me laughing.

  12. As always, EC, you are hysterical. I need to go check my searches.


  13. This is my first time visiting your blog! This post is hilarious!! xoxo

  14. This is totally random, but Peanut just said she wants to be a Zombie Elf for Halloween. Got any spare costumes lying around your house?

  15. This post opened a whole new world to me. I'm with regectedriter who gave us some search words for you that were "awesome." (Not my usual word, but it surely fits here!)


  16. This had me cracking up, what a great idea to share the odd searches that led to your site. Thanks for sharing!

    (Mine doesn't get nearly enough search engine hits to make a post from, but I'd feel like a weak copy to do that now anyway *giggle*)

  17. Hilarious! Love the searches and your responses!