Omnipotent

 I’m sure this post will offend some people, and I’m truly sorry if it does. But I’m not writing this to make friends; I’m writing to help people who are experiencing trials, so they’ll know they’re not alone.

Maybe I should’ve never announced that I don’t believe that Jesus is the son of God. That was like saying, “Hey, I’m the weak one in the herd! Come after me!” I knew I’d get backlash, but the hundreds of religious messages I received blew me away. I got correspondence from people of religions I’d never even heard of. People said that in order to find God I should send a letter to some monks, become a Jehovah’s Witness, join the LDS church, ask Jesus to be my lord and savior, meditate three times a day, find a spirit guide, go on a root cleanse and find spirits of higher vibrations. The list goes on and on.... What they all forgot to take into account is that maybe I’ve already found God.

In fact, I think I’ve felt Him since I had a prayer box as a little girl. And then, when I learned to play the violin, I felt Him even more. As if a musical string connected me directly to God, I could feel His love pouring in me and through me as I played just like I knew He could feel my love going right back to Him.

But according to some of these people, if I’d just done what they’d said—if I just had more faith—I’d already be healed.

I felt like I’d been sitting on a peaceful beach and these messages/phone calls/emails were like waves suddenly crashing against me. I even had someone send strangers to my house to convert me. I spent 30 minutes trying to tell them “no” when I’d just finished work, my kids were in school, and I should’ve been resting.

And instead of converting me, these people have helped me have an even stronger faith in God’s love. He doesn’t need to be tied to stupid manmade rules. He found me despite what all of these people believe.

Even after my son died—even THEN—God still stayed. He gave me peace and hope to get through that. I feel like I’ll be all right.

So...I don’t know what the future holds, but I figure an omnipotent God sure does. If He saw fit to create me, then I trust Him to judge me too—after all, He’s God.

Anyway, if you know someone who has cancer or who’s going through a hard time, if they say they’ve heard enough, please consider respecting their wishes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is show them love—instead of unending judgement.

If you’ve sent me a barrage of emails about religion, please don’t be offended, but just try to show empathy. 

For now, I’ll continue envisioning myself in the hand of God. That’s the place I find peace when I’m having hard days. I could be wrong about this, just like everyone else could be wrong, but at least I’ve found some peace in putting my faith in God and playing my violin for Him.