Wednesday, January 1, 2014

From triumph to failure--honestly

This has been the hardest year of my life (only coming in second to the year Zeke died).  But what's funny is that looking back, it's actually been quite amazing as well.

The Triumphs

In January 2013, my 6th book, "How to Avoid Having Sex," was released.

Over the following three months I was interviewed on radio stations across the US ranging anywhere from Florida to California--even being interviewed by the famous host and author Patrick Walters.

Three of my books were turned into audiobooks!

During the summer of 2013: My name/bio was added to wikipedia (see that HERE)!  
Two dear blogging friends flew out to see me.  
I was also interviewed on a large local television program (watch that interview HERE). 
Wayman Publishing grew more than we'd imagined--and I thanked God for everything!

But then my life changed...


The Failures 

In August 2013 it became very apparent that I needed to get divorced.
That same month I had to stay in a women's shelter.  There weren't enough beds for myself and the children, so I slept on the floor.
The experience--AND THE PEOPLE STAYING THERE--were . . . life-changing.
In September, I had left the shelter and started interviewing for work like crazy.
Despite my twig-like size, I ended up getting a job as a security guard of all things.
 In October, I got implants.  Yes, I'm flippin' honest!
In November, I fell completely head-over-heels in love with someone else going through a divorce.
The day before Thanksgiving, my divorce became official.  While the man I love . . . is still married.
 In December Wayman Publishing went out of business. 
But was able to finish one last project:
And even though this might sound like a breeze to some people, I still cry sometimes.  When I'm working, I miss being with my kids.  I miss the comfort that comes from being married to someone who knows EVERYTHING about me as I know EVERYTHING about him.
And it really isn't as easy as I'd hoped.
But I have something awesome to tell you:  
I've learned so much from these hard times. 
The women's shelter taught me once again to have compassion for those in need.  Those women did everything they could to make me and my four children feel at peace.  The women there faced such horrific struggles: Some had just come in off the street.  Others were escaping scary relationships.  
And yet we worked together, to make things easier for each other.  I've never known such a sisterhood, made completely from strangers who felt like family.

Working as a security guard taught me the joy of making new friends.  My co-workers at that job make life shine for everyone around them.  They selflessly listened to my stupid problems, rarely passing judgement and always saying things that brought a smile to my face.
Falling in love again taught me that although I'm thirty, I'm not really that old.  Life can still be exciting and fun--if we decide for it to be that way especially for ourselves (and in my case my children).
So honestly, this year has sucked.  But in retrospect, it's also been one of the most amazing years of my life.  
I've grown tremendously.
We all make mistakes.  
We ALL have struggles.  
Life is about living and learning--and that's what 2013 really embodies for me.
I know I'll keep making mistakes.  But as long as I stay strong for my kids and keep learning through all of this, I figure it'll all be okay.
Signing off,
(Like my blog's name implies, this really is the crazy life of a writing mom!)