Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Went Skydiving With Edward Cullen and Jim Croce

Sunday is my 12th wedding anniversary.  We're going to the mummy exhibit and everything.  I know what you're thinking!  "Mummies?  Is that romantic?"  Well, it'll be interesting and that's what our anniversaries always are.  Remember two years ago when Cade took me skydiving?  It was AWESOME!      
    They paired Cade with Jim Croce--a man who died in a plane crash, and me with a guy who I thought looked like my version on Edward Cullen.  I’m not a huge Twilight fan--let me send that thought in the wind.  I thought Edward was obsessive, overbearing, controlling.  If I could pick one literary character to NOT go skydiving with, it would be him or Captain Ahab!  There’s something about jumping from a plane--with a vamp--it doesn’t bode well.  It’s like facing death TWICE!


To top things off, my cameraman looked like a preacher I used to know.  It wasn’t until the video guy started dropping the “F” bomb that I questioned his faith.   
    “Are you related to any pastors?” I asked the “F Bomber.”
    “Well, you look like a very successful one I used to know . . .  You could probably make a good living, if you held services before people jump.”
    He laughed so hard.  “Even though I swear a lot.”
    “You could still do awesome.  Pass around an offering plate, tell people this might be their last moment and you’ll be golden!”
    I watched a few people jump before me.  When my turn came, that’s when I finally got nervous.  This is just a dream, I closed my eyes and instead of jumping, I just leaned into the wind like when I let go of Zeke’s ashes
    I kept my eyes closed for a couple seconds of the sixty-second free fall.  It was beautiful!  I was a bird--that had no wings and couldn’t fly--but still I was a freakin’ bird!!!  That’s when I opened my eyes and forgot about everything except God’s beauty.  My cheeks flapped as I thought about how my teeth might freeze and then fall from my face.  The world looked beautiful from up there in the frigid--teeth chattering weather.  I almost cried thinking about God’s awesomeness and the fact that a little spit dribbled from the side of my mouth and probably into my instructor’s face.
    After he pulled the shoot, he let me do a few turns and then we landed.  I ran up to Cade and hugged him.  “You jumped with Jim Croce and you survived!  That was sooo awesome!"     We started  walking toward the hanger and I turned to Cade.  “Were you nervous?  Did you have a hard time jumping?”
    “You wanna know the truth?”
    I nodded.
    “We got up there, and something with the pressure or something.  Anyway, I was strapped to Croce, who could hardly speak English and all the sudden I had to . . .”  Cade looked around and whispered, “I had to fart.”
    “Oh my gosh!” I giggled so hard.
    “Well, I held it, until I had to jump from the plane, and I think it gave me an extra boost.”
    “So you abandoned the plane AND a bad fart?”  I laughed so hard, my side hurt. And I couldn't help wondering, did the fart stay in the plane after Cade jumped? So many people waited to jump after us.  If they would've died, would that smell been one of their last memories from life?
    When we walked back to the counter, an instructor pulled me aside and said, Kevin told me that normally skinny girls are hard to dive with because they end up being so light, gravity will flip the both of you upside down.  But he said you went out of that plane easier than any skinny girl he’s dove with and it was one of the best tandem jumps he’s made.”     That made me grin.     “You’re a natural,” he said.  “You shocked me today, and you’re a natural.”     So, I did it.  I’m a natural faller.  Me and gravity . . . We get along.  

To celebrate our anniversary, Bible Girl & the Bad Boy is only 99 cents.  It's the story of how I met Cade and ran away to Hawaii.  You can check that out HERE.

Also If you want to see part of the jump, here's the video. If you watch any of it, watch 3:42--it still makes me smile.