Monday, December 16, 2013

Was that snow, or bird poop I just ate?

Sometimes it's hard to roll with the punches.  Life hasn't been easy lately, but at least I can say one thing: I've been honest to a fault.
When it sucks, I say so.
When it's awesome, you know it.
    But this hasn't been the best idea, not all the time.  And I realized this in the grocery store the other day when I wasn't my normal "nice" self.  If you've read my blog at all, you know I'm a pretty sweet girl.  I don't say mean things to innocent people.  I'm not vindictive and I LOVE my enemies!  For most of my life I've done everything I can to make everyone else happy.  Well, maybe I'm starting to change just a little. . . .
    A guy walked toward me as a studied the various types of chips in front of me at the local store.  I was bored, honestly.  Cade had the kids for the weekend, and it seemed like I had nothing better to do than buy an energy drink and peruse the chip aisle before going home to sew.  I stood minding my own business, gauging whether Cheetos or Doritos sounded like a better time, when suddenly the guy at two o'clock started talking to me.
    "Oh, my gosh!  I LOVE Doritos too!  Can you believe it?  We BOTH love Doritos."
    Did he want a flippin' prize!  Is this the best guys can do these days?
    Besides, I have a problem with men lately.  Actually there are only three men I really trust right now, and chip-boy isn't one of them.  I studied his face and saw "DIRT BAG *ALERT*--I LIKE TO SLEEP WITH WOMEN" practically tattooed on his forehead.  That's when I decided to let my temper out.
    "Doritos?  Really!  I bet 90% of Americans LOVE Doritos.  That doesn't make me your F'n soulmate!" 
    He paled.  And as I said the words, I actually felt bad--until he gained his second wind!
    "A feisty redhead!  Meow! I like that!  We should go out."
    At the point he said "meow" I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
    "I'm happily . . . unavailable," I said, starting to turn away. 
    "You aren't wearing a ring or nothin' AND I'm a great guy."
    "You're shorter than me," I countered, because that's something a guy just can't bounce back from--unless he's a midget 'cause that's badass.  I've seen Willow enough times to know!
    "What?" he said.
    "You're. Shorter. Than. Me," I raised my voice.
    "I'll always look up to you."
    "You look younger than me."
    "Never stopped me before."
    "How old are you, babyface?  Can you even grow a beard yet?" I felt so insensed that he wouldn't just leave me alone to pick some chips; I thought if he continued much longer, I might give him my ex-husband's number--and name--just for the hell of it!  (I could pass for a Cade--or Cade-ee--right?)  That would teach chip-boy to hit on girls in the chip aisle!
    "I'm twenty-five," he winked.
    Holy . . . water!  Was he really asking me out?  Had his balls even dropped yet?  "Well, child.  I'm thirty.  I could have changed your diapers."
    "We aren't THAT far apart in age."
     "To a five-year-old, that's a freakin' lifetime!"  I said, then grabbed a bag of original Lays--which I'm not especially fond of--and I nearly sprinted to the self-checkout.
    And as I scanned the bar code of those original Lays, I kept thinking about how I didn't want that brand of chips!  I just wanted to mind my own business and probably buy Doritos--because, after all, 90% of Americans LOVE Doritos.  

   Why is it so hard for me to stand up for myself, do what I want, and now control my temper? 
    I love that I'm a nice person and I do want to remain true to myself, but being divorced is teaching me a few things.  I don't have to be sweet all the time, and it's okay to stand up for myself. Like the Bible--and The Byrds--say, to everything there is a season

Are there ever times in your life when you've told someone how you feel and they just haven't taken the hint?  If so, how did you respond? 


  1. This just happened with me. Someone I thought was a friend kept badgering me . I finally bluntly stated how I felt, saying I was trying to not hurt anyone's feelings, including my own. Then she acted like everything was great, and I felt bad.

  2. Oh yesss, there have been a few that just won't take the hint and go the hell away.lmao what? meow doesn't do it for you?

  3. I usually try to be nice. Unfortunately this means that occasionally when I do tell someone what I'm really thinking that I've already lost my temper and don't mind firing all torpedoes.

    I don't want to crush anybody, but jeez some people are just so freaking thick.

    As for the guy in question, I shudder to think how many women a line like that has worked on for him to try it so casually.

  4. Being single now for almost a year, the guys here in Mexico have been hitting. I find it humorous because they each have their own approach. And here in Mexico they're very blatant about it. The only thing they haven't done is hold their pee pee when talking with me. And ALL of them are at least twenty...count them, twenty years younger. I usually just giggle and say, "no gracias." No matter how bad their approach, I still find men fascinating creatures. Gotta luv 'em.

  5. Since I'm 79, no one has hit on me for a long time, but I DO have my sweet side & my bitch side. I try to keep the bitch side under wraps, but occasionally she comes up for air!!

  6. I'm nice up to a certain point. But once that line is crossed (for your example, I would say that would be when this kid said "Meow"), it's time for me to firmly put my foot down. I only get nasty when people don't take a hint.

  7. I am surprised that you didn't pull, "You're not my type, I like girls" or something like that. I think he was lucky that he did not get slapped.

  8. X never took the hint, but it really wasn't a mere hint. "You aren't wearing a ring or nothin' . . . " Bad grammar is reason enough to have any interest in him.

    I love you.

    Your Mother From Another Planet

  9. You know how you fix that goofball? Just refuse to vote for him the next time he is up for reelection.

  10. I meant "reason enough NOT". I need an editor.


  11. "Why is it so hard for me to stand up for myself, do what I want,"

    Funny. I just wrote a post about this tonight as well. Not about being hit on by a Doritos guy, but about putting myself first. *sigh* I'm a giant work in progress I guess.