Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Tooth Fairy is really . . . a NINJA!

When my kids lose teeth, I turn into a tooth-stealing ninja.  With black clothes and a will of steel, I rob teeth from the poor AND make those kids rich.  The Hippie recently lost three teeth all in a short time.  I've been thrilled about freelancing as the Tooth Fairy, until overhearing my kids' conversation this morning.

Please note, this isn't me:


    I'd given The Hippie a glass angel and four dollars--being an overachiever! As The Hippie found her treasures this morning, I hid just outside her door and listened.
    "I've seen the Tooth Fairy," The Hippie whispered to her older sister The Scribe. 
    "No you haven't. The Tooth Fairy is so fast and small."
    "Yes, I have.  Last night, I stayed up almost all night.  Just when I thought I'd go to sleep, the door creaked."
     "And?" The Scribe asked eagerly.
     "A huge black shape came into the room.  It walked very strange, like it had problems."
     Dear Reader, STOP right there.  The black shape didn't walk "like it had problems!"  It crept like a freakin' NINJA!  Now, back to the story.
    "I watched and watched," The Hippie said, "but it was so slow. It didn't fly or move like a fairy!"
    "A huge black shape? Of course it didn't move like a fairy!" The Scribe said.
    "Anyway, it slowly bent over the tooth, knocked some things off my shelf, almost broke my porcelain doll, and that's when the light hit her face."
    "Oh. My. Gosh!  Really.  YOU saw the Tooth Fairy's face.  What did she look like?  Was she pretty?  Why was she so big?"
    The Hippie chuckled, obviously proud to have discovered something before her older sister.  "Because, Scribe.  The Tooth Fairy . . . is our mother!"
    The Scribe gasped.  "This is unreal."
    "I know," The Hippie said, "Do you think all of the other children know it's her?"
    I almost died of laughter.  What am I . . . Santa?  I alone visit all the children--that sounds like a nightmare.  A tooth here and there is fantastic--tons of teeth every night, now that's just work.
    "I should have known," The Scribe continued.  "Once she thought she was being extra sneaky.  As she kissed my cheek goodnight, Mom slid her hand under my pillow and left the room. When I checked for my tooth, it was gone--and five bucks were there.  Now if that isn't silly, I don't know what is."
    "Wow," The Hippie said. "No wonder Mom's so tired, getting teeth from all those children."
    "It also explains why we have no money.  She keeps giving everything away to tooth-less children!" The Scribe said.  "We have to do something.  Hippie, it's time to have a talk with the Tooth Fairy."
    I left quickly and after bringing them to school, decided to write this.  All I wanted was to give them a good childhood, but I don't want to be part of an intervention!
    I used to love being the Tooth Fairy, my how things change.
The Scribe helped write a story last year about losing teeth, please click the picture to find out more.


  1. So had me laughing out loud!!

  2. LMAO wow you must have some skill, getting all the teeth all over the world. Maybe the ninja tooth fairy needed a mask haha

  3. I love that they came to the conclusion that that's where your money went. I can't wait to hear if there was an intervention.

  4. Oh that's hilarious! I play tooth fairy at my house and it's fairly easy to walk awkwardly in my kids''s an obstacle course during the day. At night, in the dark, it's practically a lethal minefield of plastic toys.

  5. I hear you! People think everything's fine because you have a steady job. I don't think I have another egg left in me--especially chocolate ones!!

    ----The Easter Bunny

    1. I thought you'd sign this The Easter Ducky LOL! Fishduckies lay eggs too, right?

  6. Dear Elisa, I laughed out loud, guffawed, and still have a smile on my face when I read what the Scribe said about why you family is "poor." The way you did that dialogue is just great!!!! Peace.