Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What came first, the egg or my insanity?

I should be polishing my speech for tonight. I'm worried about talking in front of adults—especially people attending a university. I bet all of the women will be wearing classy boots. And to think, I just got used to talking to children. But, I'm bringing my trusty violin along. I know that and Melynda will make things much better.
    So, instead of preparing, I'm being a slacker. I HAVE to tell you about what happened yesterday though. It was one of the most frustrating, hysterical, SURREAL days of my life. It all started when my girls got home from school.
    "We celebrated April Fool's today, since the real April Fool's was on Sunday," the Hippie said. Then she told me about her entire day—which was wonderful. She loves telling stories. Gee, I wonder where she gets that from? But the last part took me off guard and I blinked.
    "What did you just say?"
    She took a deep breath and spoke again. "My friend and her dad went to the park last night. They scared some ducks away and found this." The Hippie held up an egg. It was slightly larger than a chicken egg and so dirty it was hard to tell what color it really was. "She wants to be my friend so much, that she gave me a duck egg. I'm worried though, I've never been a mother. Is it really as hard as you say?"
    I just gawked at the egg.  Of course being a mother is hard! Plus, had she seriously brought something like that home?! "Hon, we don't know if that's a real story. We don't even know what's—"
    "My new friend WOULD NOT lie. And at last recess, I held the egg close and it actually moved in my hand. Then this little crack showed up."
    Yes indeed, there was a crack—the size of Milwaukee. "Can I hold it?" I askedterrified it would crack all of the way and a goose would hurtle toward my neck.  I don't have good luck with ducks or geese, or birds in general.  And who knew what that egg contained?
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    "Sure.  You can hold it." The Hippie handed it over, oblivious to my concern.
   "It's so warm," I said breathlessly, holding it like a baby.
    The Scribe was equally enthralled. Too bad we had no idea what hung in the wind.
    
    Could it be a duckling? Or a goose so evil I'd never recover? Could it be breakfast? 

To be continued . . . tomorrow. I better get going on this speech, but I can't wait to share the rest of this story with you.

What do you think will happen next?

25 comments:

  1. The Hippie is a mommie

    Good luck with the speech.

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  2. OH! Such a tease! And so many possibilities for the outcome.

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  3. Oh I cannot wait!
    Sorry I haven't been commenting; I read though! I am going through some serious health stuff @ Mayo. I'm still here though.

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  4. Oooo I want to know. I have a deathly fear of geese. One bit me through a fence when we were at a sort of zoo when I was 7. Huge bruise on my calf lol.

    I hope it's really a duck. They're cute!

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  5. OH holy canoli! I sure hope a swan doesn't come hurdling out at your neck! They can be nasty buggers... ;)

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  6. Once I had a job where on the way to my FIRST meeting my new boss dropped a bomb and told me I would be making the speech that night! I hardly even knew what the organization did yet! So all the way there I prayed and did a lot of self talk.....then suddenly I realized that none of the people there knew me and so I would just act like an actress and act! I did, I guess they thought it was o.k. and I stayed until I realized that I was non a fund raiser at heart! You can do it!

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  7. First of all it is so sad that a parent would rush a duck off of its nest and steal one it its babies. What has he taught his daughter who is now sure to be your daughter's new best fried?

    Okay, rant over. I hope the baby hatched well and that you were able to get in touch with the local wildlife rescue group, because if not, you are now the proud momma of a baby goose - or whatever hatched out of that egg!

    I know your speech will be fabulous tonight and agree that if you start to fumble - Melynda will be sure to pick up the slack and have them all laughing. Let's just hope it's not at your expense. LOL!!

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  8. And out pops a small alien froms mars. That hums a few bars, declaring you it's new mommy and wanting to eat something yummy. You feed and change the diaper of the ungrateful alien brat, only to find out he is here to kill a rhyming cat. Then take over the planet before he is through and even enslave you. So you build a rocket and send him into space banning him forever from your place. But he swore he would be back and use his death ray on your shack. So you drained his brain of any memory of you and now off in space he goes without a single clue. Damn the cat is good.

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  9. Great, GREAT story. And you've got me wanting more egg in head.

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  10. I'm betting whatever pops out of the egg ends with April Fools. :)

    Good luck with tonight and don't worry. People in college are a lot of things, but adult is usually not one of them. Besides, just remember, if they prove to be a tough crowd they're legally old enough to be beaten. :)

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  11. I have NO doubt that talking to college kids--who are not necessarily adults--wil go just as well (or BETTER) than it did in elementary school. Whoever invited you agrees with me!!

    That egg better not be a fishducky!

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  12. How awful of them to chase away a mother bird and steal her child! And then let their daughter bring it to school for what--show and tell? And give it away as a friendship bribe? What comes next!! Wow! ;)

    Good luck and have fun!! :):)

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  13. If we're registering bets, I'm guessing a belated April Fool (The Hippie on you, or her friend on her?), and the egg was fake.

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  14. AAAAH A girl after my own heart. Is it any wonder I want her to be my daughter in law? No no it isn't. lmao

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  15. I was going to say "A duckling, duh! It was found where ducks were chased from, after all." but after reading other comments, I'm not so sure. It'll probably be similar to those cans of "nuts" that spring something at you when you open them.

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  16. Nice cliffhanger and worth it for your readers in that you are procrastinating.

    There is that "Bigger than Milwaukee" saying again; you know I am hooked on that...

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  17. So we have to wait to hear what happens with the egg bugga.............

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  18. The insanity, the egg was a product of delusions.

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  19. I'm sure you did great! Half the battle is walking you butt up there and saying anything at all...:) And with Melynda there, you guys were probably awesome. Now, hurry back so I can hear what's in that egg...

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  20. You have a unique/fun way of telling a story. Can't wait to read more!

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  21. Nicely written blog! Thank you for sharing!

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  22. Wow what a great blog! I wish I could write like you!

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