Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I'm a Gossip; Kissing a Cow

    I have a big flaw.  I hate it actually, but I'm starting to change.  The fact remains, sure I'm a go-getter.  When I set out to do something, it gets done.  But on the down side of my personality . . . I'm a gossip.  When my feelings are hurt, I have to call everyone close to me and tell them about it.  (Thus, some of the entries in my journal.) I'll cry and vent, remembering everything from YEARS before.  Just thinking about it makes me feel terrible.  On judgement day, I'll stand in rags--and I'll have something gross like ear hair--because God will punish me for not keeping my mouth shut.        
    Well, recently I met my Yoda.  I've always dreamed about knowing a writing mentor and it finally happened!  To me this is almost better than getting published.  Like being an apprentice--with laser vision AND a four foot cape!
    Anyway, I was on the phone with Yoda the other day when the topic veered from grammar. I thought of writers and how much power they can have.  There's one man in particular--a famous one who grew up with my father; that author has a problem with gossip and even wrote about my father BY NAME as a character who died a terrible death.  It's hilarious and wild--a good example of what I never want to turn into.  That's why I told Yoda, "I'm a gossip and I need to stop before it's too late." (And God gives me ear hair.)
    "Really?"  She paused for a moment. "My mom used to always say something about gossiping."
    "What was it?" I asked, clutching onto her words because when someone is Yoda, you listen up!
    "Mrs. O'Leary kissed a cow. To each their own taste I always say."
    It was so beautiful--sooooo perfect.  To each their own!  We're all different, so why judge?!  See, I told you this woman is Yoda!
    I vowed then, I would use this line on Cade or the children.  I just needed to catch them gossiping.  How hard could that be, right?

To be continued . . . with more gossip . . . tomorrow!


  1. I want to hear the gossip--not what happens afterward! C'mon, tell me--fishducky's can keep a secret!!

  2. Didn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow burn down Chicago too? I'm sure somewhere in there is a warning sign about gossiping..LOL..to each their own indeed.

  3. OMG! Gossiping is wrong? Now you tell me. Could it be, that is why my cell phone bill is so darn high???? I don't have a cow, but I gots me a dog that I already kiss his butt on a daily basis.

  4. Haven't kissed a cow, but I have a friend who tipped one over once.

  5. haha ;D you're not the only one, almost everyone do that! =]

  6. It's sadly human nature to gossip especially if the news is negative. The hotter it is the faster it travels and of course by the time it gets to the 12th person or so it has changed significantly. Have a great rest of your Tuesday.

  7. I kiss my cat. You are free to gossip about that. ;)

  8. Try working in a newsroom. That's where the gossip gets really bad. People at newspapers tend to know everyone in town worth knowing and what they're up to. The talk gets pretty filthy. I know I don't have the cleanest non-gossiping mouth in the world, but I put up a sign over my desk that said WATCH YOUR #@%&! LANGUAGE.


  9. I'll admit, I like gossip as much as the next person. And since I already have ear hair, I guess I'm doomed. :)

  10. Dear Elisa,
    Here's a thought: We need to be careful that what we say about someone doesn't create a bad impression of that someone in the person to whom we're speaking. So we gossip to our hearts content so long as we are telling things that make the listener value that "someone" of whom we're talking.

    On the other hand, when life gets really hard and someone hurts our feelings or treats us badly, we need to reach out to friend and ask for their support in listening and suggesting ways to handle the situation. That's not gossipy. That's taking care of ourself.


  11. All the crack addicts & meth whores are laughing right now.
    I think you'll still make it in the pearly gates(if there are any).

  12. I am sitting here with this big stupid question mark. I don't get it! I fear I must be having one of those brain farts. Oh...can I say that here? Anyways, I wouldn't worry to much if that is your worst sin or if getting ear hair is the thing you fear most.

  13. I love the "Mrs. O'leary..." reference. Never heard gossip described as such.

  14. Seriously? Ear hair?

    Oh honey. I have done things, well, let's just say ear hair would be the worst of my worries. I'd be afraid that God would be like "No way lady, you're going back till you get it right. This time though, we'll send you back as a much more inferior creature...like a man."


  15. What the crap E~ lol Yo are not a big gossip. You rarely ever say anything and even if you do you back it up with saying something like "I'm just in a mood." Or I'm so sorry really they are not that bad. It's just me letting my feelings get hurt." You don't need to worry my friend. You are a wonderful person and if you are kissing cows I guess i'll line up and kiss a cows butt. :)

  16. i don't like gossip. that involves me. other than that? oh...then it's fine! :)

    1. and i know we're all different, and we should celebrate our differences, but kissing cows is gross. ok? there. i said it!