Finding a Way

I pulled out my grandmother's "happiness file," a collection of things she saved to cheer herself up, and the famous words on one of the index cards resonated with me more than ever before. “When there’s a will, there’s a way.” I sat, quietly contemplating how my life has turned out. 

I used to accomplish so much. When I decided to do something, I would almost ALWAYS find a way to get it done. But then in 2020, doctors diagnosed me with stage 4 melanoma and everything changed. They initially gave me two years to live, and although I've lived much longer, every day has been a battle for my life. 

I had a serious back surgery where surgeons removed my L3 and put a cage in my spine; I've endured several separate rounds of radiation, and years of cancer treatments. This has affected my ability to stand up straight and walk for long periods. 

These changes have been especially tough because before I got sick, the kids and I loved hiking and taking walks together. "Mama, can we walk to the gas station, like we used to?" Indy asked the other day.

"I would love to," I said, but I'm not sure if I can. How about I try working up to it?"

She nodded, so excited. 

The next day while Indy was at work, I tried walking to the end of the block and got so winded that I had to crouch down until my breath came regularly and my legs and back didn't hurt so badly. That night, with tears in my eyes, I asked Indy if we could drive to the gas station instead.

"It's okay, Mama," she said, and even though I knew she meant it, that was hard, another reminder of how this has negatively affected my family.

Anyway, a few weeks later, my dad called out of no where. "Hon," he said, "Mom and I bought you a big surprise. Be looking for it in the mail. Okay?"

I sat down, forgetting my previous self-pity and wondering what in the world my parents had gotten. "Mike, do you know what it is?"

He shook his head thoughtfully. "I'm as curious as you are."

The following week, I looked out on the porch to see a huge box on a massive pallet. "What in the heck?" 

The kids and I opened it, so excited to see that my parents bought me a riding scooter! It's can travel up to 18 miles in one charge and can zip around at 5 miles an hour.

Mike unhooked the scooter from its charger the next day. "Are you gonna take it out today?" he asked.

"Yep." I smiled. "I just need to get Indy.

"We're going on a date," I said after walking into Indy's room. 

“Just like old times?"

"What are we gonna do?" she asked.

"Walk to the gas station."

Tears filled her eyes, and I realized just how much this meant to her. I suddenly felt extra grateful to my parents, for all of their kindness and love over the years. I also remembered the quote my grandmother wrote down: When there’s a will, there’s a way. 

For years, I’ve subconsciously begun setting limitations for myself, believing many experiences were forever out of reach now. But my family helped me see that where I saw insurmountable barriers, incredible opportunities waited instead. They helped me find new ways of still doing things that I love. Life isn’t bad, it’s just a little bit different, and my family’s love and support has meant the world to me. I am so lucky to have them in my life.