Friday, December 27, 2024

Kindness Is the Best Teacher

Before meeting with an HR team, Trey asked for me to do a mock interview. "I'm extremely hard working,” he said, “and that’s why I'll be the best decision you ever made here—because I won't let you down." Then he thoughtfully tapped his fingers on his knee. “This apprenticeship, well… it’ll change the course of my life. I just need a chance.


I hadn't realized exactly HOW much he’d wanted this, and I couldn’t help staring at him. 

That next week, Trey landed the years-long welding apprenticeship AND a scholarship paid by the state. Now, half a year later, he’s worked hard and appreciated every minute. He's showed enthusiasm even when he’s tired and never called in sick even when he could have. There was only one hiccup—last month.

“Your car broke down?” Mike asked Trey on the phone. “I’ll be right there, but this might cost a bit to fix.”

We’ve asked Trey to pay for half of his car parts, and although he and Mike do the labor, it can still get expensive. “Trey, they’re paying you at this apprenticeship.” I sighed. “Why don’t you have any money?” We had this conversation after I logged into our joint checking account and saw some larger purchases.

“There’s a reason for all of it,” he said. “But if it’s okay, I don’t feel like it’s my place to say.”

"You’re not in danger?" I asked, suddenly worried. High school is a different place than when I was a kid.

Trey actually laughed. “No! It’s nothing like that.” Then he added, “I’ll make sure to save money in the future—and I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

Time passed, and eventually the holidays came. Not knowing what to get Trey, I noticed him perusing, video games and instruments (not surprising), but then he googled uncharacteristic things too like cameras, art supplies, and clothes.

“Mom, people have shown me so much kindness since you got sick,” he said one day. “I still can’t believe I got Borah!” His cat looked up at the mention of his name and took the opportunity to meow at us. “But I don’t want you worrying about the holidays. I make my own money. Just worry about going to your cancer treatments and getting better.”

This brought tears to my eyes, making me vow to give him something extra special. 

Ironically, it wasn’t long after Trey opened his big gift—a new woodwind instrument—that I started receiving a few unexpected calls and texts.

“He bought our son the nicest gift!” The first woman cried. “Money has been so tight since my husband lost his job. We didn’t know what to do this year. But it all worked out. It’s gonna be okay.”

I didn’t know what to say. And when I finally understood what Trey had done, I could hardly believe it. “I’m… I’m stunned,” I said.

“Me too! This is like a miracle.”

The day ended with three sets of parents calling or texting, just wanting Mike and I to know what Trey had done for their kids—all classmates he thought might be struggling this year.

We hugged our boy that night. “You’re a pretty great guy,” Mike said.

“It’s nothing. Really. I could help, so I did! What kind of person wouldn’t help if they knew they could do something?”

I didn’t respond and instead really studied Trey as he spoke. This seemed like a pivotal moment in his life. “You know,” he paused to pick up Borah, his gigantic Maine coon, “all the people who’ve been kind to our family after your diagnosis, they were good examples. This whole situation has changed all of us, and we’ll never forget the kind people who’ve come into our lives. They’ve made the hard times somehow bearable.” He hugged Borah and started walking down the hall to their bedroom. “Kind people are good teachers.” And with that, the duo disappeared into their room, and Mike and I listened as Trey cooed to Borah, begging him to go to sleep.


“What are you thinking?” Mike asked.

“Just that I never expected cancer to affect everyone the way it has. I’m glad something good has come from it, but I do worry for the kids.” I walked over to Mike and rested my head on his arm. “Things like this make me so proud of them, and it gives me peace that when it’s my time to go, the kids will be okay. They’re kind and hardworking. What more could we ask for?”

“They were always gonna be good kids,” Mike said. “I’m proud of them.”

So, we stayed like that for a long time, snuggling into each other as we looked out the window where multicolored lights illuminated the winter wonderland in our front yard. Flakes of snow twirled from Heaven, leaving paradise so we could momentarily appreciate their beauty; I guess even gravity has its perks. That reminded me of my own situation: Amid surgeries, treatments, infusions, and other appointments, Trey helped me find a huge pocket of goodness this holiday season. He didn’t just bring a miracle to those families, he brought one to me and Mike as well.


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