Unemployment and the stages of grief

Yesterday I lost my job. It was a corporate take over which rarely turns out well for management.
Anyway, after I got home, I immediately went through the 5 stages of grief.

DENIAL
    "This is just a thing," I told Mike.  "Blip!"
    "Yeah. They'll probably call you tomorrow and say they want you to come back...because they decided you're necessary."

ANGER
    "What the heck!  You know they aren't going to call.  Why are you suddenly joining me in my denial?!  That's not what I need.  I don't need that. I don't need this!  Who wants to run a newspaper anyway?!  Not me. Not my children...  Not even my granchildren's grandchildren!"  Then I glared at my husband like he was the one who laid me off!!!

BARGAINING
    "There has to be something you can do," he said.
    "You're right! I'll put on my best business dress and tell them I can do anything! They want toilets washed--that's perfect! They want coffee--I'm their girl."
    "Yeah, 'cause that's not extreme.  Elisa, you're not the janitor."
    "Yeah, but maybe I can be.  Let's do this!!! I'll become humble AND a surviver.  God is gonna love this plan!"
    "Ummm.  Yeah, about that plan..."

DEPRESSION
    Mike looked at me and held out his arms.
"Ahhhhhhhhh..." I wailed like I'd just lost my uterus and all of my normal hormones.  "Not to be dramatic, but I'm going to die...."

WINE
    And after crying so much I'll be dehydrated for a year, I wiped my eyes and did the first thing I could think of.  I drank two HUGE glasses of wine.  So it's not quite acceptance, but it's the next best thing.

Anyone looking for a writer who's now on the market.  Anyone...?  Anyone?  Damn it!  Back to my wine *smiling through tears*
 -A very dramatic (for today at least) Elisa  *Can someone please give me my uterus back!!!