I'd just gotten home from an amazing, albeit LONG day doing the work thing. I was excited to see my kids, but the second I walked into the house, I should've taken cover! Verbal bombs dropped left and right. The lights flickered (well maybe it wasn't THAT dramatic, but still). People screamed--especially my two youngest children who kept saying, "Stop it. Stop it." Then they'd duck to avoid the wads of paper being thrown across the room. And I...nearly fainted in my work clothes.
"What the heck is going on?" I yelled, dropping my purse, my keys, and a ferocious attitude. And like someone had frozen time, the "war" went on pause. An unfolded paper slowly floated to the ground in the middle of me and my four children, and all of us stood, then blinked, looking back and forth at everyone who'd miraciously survived the last ten seconds.
"The Scribe took a video of me," The Hippie said. "I didn't even know about it--then she sent it to all of my friends. I sounded so bad because we were fighting." The Hippie kicked a wad of paper at her feet and tears brimmed her eyes.
"It's because she's lazy and selfish! And she needs to realize it," The Scribe said.
My jaw dropped. And I was just about to say something incredibly revolutionary and perfect when--
"Being lazy is WAY better than being pretty BUT stupid!"
"Woah! THAT is enough. Into my bedroom. RIGHT. NOW. You're going to get along--or so help me!"
The thing about being a mom, is that you think you know what you're doing, until something crazy like this comes out of nowhere! And then you end up recycling lines your own mother used--like "so help me," or "no, we're not there yet." And come to think of it, most of these threats, just kind of trailed off. Moms are freakin' ominous--that's what.
Anyway, I was pretty heated in that moment. You hear people talk about mama bears. I'm sick of that term. I wanna be like a mama tiger--or something! So I googled "scary animals that are good moms," and this thing popped up. What the flip IS that?
Photo credit HERE
When a lobster breeds with a toucan...you get the BEST mother ever. Oh, and their baby will LOVE Boston Baked Beans.
In fact, while I was going through my old computer last week, I found this video that they'd recorded almost four years ago, all by themselves. See how cute they were when they got along....
Anyway, my oldest girls sat at the edge of my bed, and an idea came to me.
"I need you each to get three pieces of paper and a pencil."
"But, Mom--"
"Do it! Now!" I spat, completely losing my cool, and truly becoming one of those toucan-lobster things.
So, they got the supplies and came back into the room. I shut the door where my two youngest kids sat, eagerly listening to every single word. I just shook my head, knowing they'd probably pressed their little ears to the other side of the door.
"You're going to take a quiz. And then I'll grade your answers."
My girls just looked at eachother, momentarily bonding over the fact that they both thought I was crazy. Maybe this idea would work.
"Question number one. Have you ever done something nice for your sister? If so, what did you do and why did you think she'd like it?"
They frantically wrote, and a swear a little smoke came from The Scribe's pencil. "Oh, dear God," I prayed quietly. I'd been drafted into a war that I didn't want to be part of. This idea just had to work.
To be continued tomorrow:
Disclaimer: I only have an hour to write each morning--thus the continuations. This is what happens when you're in a rush, attending full-time school, working full-time, and still needing an outlet. *smiling
Livin' the dream,
Elisa
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