I opened my grandma's happiness file and read the words she'd written in 1998: Learn from others. This brought back a memory of something that happened when I recently went to the radiation oncology clinic.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," I said, "but you got radiation once and said you'd never come back?"
"It was... different than I expected," he said. "Is this your first time?"
I shook my head and told him I'd been there multiple times.
"So you know how hard it actually is?" he whispered. "The fatigue? And nausea?"
I nodded. "I'm just so grateful to be alive." I sat back in my seat. "If you don't mind my asking... what made you decide to get radiation again?"
"Like you said, it kept me alive."
He squeezed his wife's hand, and she finally spoke, explaining that ever since her husband first went into remission, he started a progress log, writing down what everyone in their family had been up to. After the cancer returned, they went through the log together and highlighted the best moments of every month.
"There were so many things in my life that I didn't really appreciate until I got sick," he added, and I nodded with understanding.
"I looked back at all of the time—and years—I would've missed if I hadn't gotten radiation the first time. After reading through the progress log, it felt surreal how everyone in my family grew so much as people. And I got to watch. I had a front-row seat for all of it." He smiled reflectively. "A couple of our grandkids graduated from college. One of them even got married! I just can't imagine missing out on that or missing the look of pride on our son's face."
The two of them turned to each other with such love, and the woman actually had tears in her eyes.
So, I heard an incredible reminder from a couple of strangers. And when the nurse called me back to my appointment and I spoke with the radiation oncologist, I didn't feel quite as hesitant as I had before.
"How are you doing today?" my doctor asked me.
"Much better," I said, and I meant it.
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