Have You Ever Had Radiation

 Have you ever had radiation? I’m surprised by the headache that “isn’t” a headache, by how hot my skin is, and by how tired I am.

For the brain tumor radiation they made me a mask and had to bolt me to the table (so I wouldn’t move). I became so petrified they had to pull me out of it three times. Finally the nurse said, “Did you hear the way she talked about her husband? Is he in the waiting room?! Go get him now!”

After that, they rushed to the waiting room and got Mike. As they bolted me to the table, Mike held my hand and said for me to imagine I was a violin. This was all before he had to go into the other room. But it was just enough time, and his imagery worked! 

I pretended I’d become a violin that God needed to work on. And when I went into the machine under all the lights and radiation; it was as a violin. The whole thing seemed as if the Refiner’s Fire truly touched me. And as it ended after about 15 minutes, a thought came to me that God doesn’t destroy violins—I sure hope that’s true. I want to be worth keeping, not physically but spiritually.

And that’s how I made it through my first bout of radiation. I wasn’t brave like I hoped, but a kind nurse, my wonderful husband, and God got me through. It was beautiful really, in a very ironic sort of way.