Today started out normal enough, until I got a call from my mentor. "You know what I am?" I asked him after a minute of conversation.
"What?" he responded.
"I'm a rainbow-chaser. I think there's a pot o' gold at the end of every rainbow, so once I see a rainbow I practically have to go after it."
"You are so honest with yourself," he said. And I had to smile because he calls me out on things all the time--by agreeing with me--but it's so diplomatic I can process the feedback and become a better person.
Anyway, after we hung up, I continued thinking about how I actually am a rainbow-chaser, always hoping I can be better, do more, try harder....
The day marched on until (hours later) I ended up talking with two guys who specialize in computers. One of the men helped me set up a shortcut on a printer. "I'm going to pick your icon," he said.
Oh, no.... This would be interesting. He scrolled through three different screens until finally picking one.
"This one fits you."
"THAT one?" I asked.
"Of course." He smiled. "You're a rainbow."
And it was this bright, happy thing that practically beamed from the screen. A rainbow, arching perfectly, next to my now-programmed name.
It wasn't until I told this whole story to one of my dearest friends tonight that the whole day came into focus. "My mentor said I'm so honest with myself--but maybe that's what makes acceptance so hard--I really know my strengths and weaknesses. I work hard and get things done, but I also chase after unattainable ideals. And now, to top all that off, I'm apparently a rainbow!"
"Elisa," I could almost hear her smiling on the other end of the phone, "don't you get it? You're always chasing rainbows, but you don't really need to...because you are one."
Chills ran up and down my body. I'm still processing the deep meaning behind all of that, and I'm sure I will be for days. But for now, here's what I have: Being honest with ourselves is crucial, but only because it can lead to growth and acceptance.
Isn't it amazing how my mentor let me share so I could be honest with myself, the computer specialist made my day by completing a God-wink for me, and my dear friend brought everything to light?
I'm surrounded by such wonderful people.
Today, well, it was a good day.
A Freakin' Rainbow