When I was at the darkest time of my life, you reached out to me; we hadn't talked for years, yet somehow you knew I needed help.
You called every night after that. I was a single mom, working grave shifts; you just wanted to make sure I'd made it safely into the building.
You were there, and even became my best friend through those terrible times, because I knew you had my back, like I had yours.
We even told each other things: The terrible secrets of what we'd been through. I shared your terrors and your triumphs as your shared mine. I was always proud of you, always there to cheer you on...until you fell farther than I could reach.
Dear friend, I should have held on, but some weights are more than any human can carry for someone else. Those are the weights we must carry ourselves, and throw off. And like a person descending to the depths of the deepest ocean, I could no longer help.
I wish I could change the past. Be stronger. Somehow fight fate, and prevent your untimely death. We all know you left this world too early.
I always thought we'd reconnect, after circumstances no longer threatened to drown you. After you had fought the fight...and won.
But...
You will never call and check up on me again.
Never be there through the good or bad times.
Never play chess and drink coffee with me, making even the burnt taste unnoticeable because we were laughing so hard about how you always killed my queen. But no one kills my queen now. I don't play chess anymore.
I miss you, friend, your kind words, wit, and laughter.
I hope they have chess in Heaven.
Until we meet again,
Elisa
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