Feeling Devastated: Possible murder/suicide/homicide

In what many are calling a possible murder/suicide/homicide/tragedy...my favorite Victoria Secret bra died in the dryer early this morning. Literally ripped strap from strap--leaving padding strewn amidst fading, damp towels--the remains were nearly unidentifiable.
     It has been said, and I quote, "The deceased was dearly loved, unforgettable. Able to bolster--even in the darkest of times."
Authorities on the matter have yet to decide the exact cause of death, although "failure to read a label" is one of the likelihoods under review.
     Others were slightly injured--i. e. my flippin' dryer--although workers (myself included) have reported no worries of lasting injuries.
     Survived by two implants.

Can we please take a moment of silence to pause for a damn bra--that cost more than my life is worth on some days!
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Thank you!
*heading to Wal-mart to buy a cheaper bra that can withstand being in the throes of a dryer*

Dedicated to posting a silly picture each day for a year. Please see my previous and future posts for more.