That's bullsh*t: But the Truth Will Set You Free.

For a chance to WIN Homeless in Hawaii, go HERE. 

Now, for today's post!

The Zombie Elf recently got several toys from Melynda at Crazy World.  She gave him rescue heroes: firefighters, space rangers, policemen, construction workers, all the characters from YMCA and much more!

    Well, my four-year-old zombie played with those toys for hours. I thought it was cute how the Zombie dubbed the construction worker as the leader, probably since Cade--his daddy--works construction. 
    I peeked around the corner when the toys got into a big fight with each other.

    The Zombie held them up, saying different things like, "No. No! The bad guy's over there."  "I know, he's hurting the Barbies." Or.  "You're wrong, he's after the My Little Ponies!"  
    "No . . . it's you," the Zombie finally said for a low-voiced toy--the menacing blue ninja.  "You've been after the My Little Ponies this whole time, Construction Guy. You already smacked all the Barbies and stole their dream car!"
    The Zombie grabbed the construction guy and made him lumber forward. "Stop it, Blue Ninja," the construction guy said. "That's BULLSHIT!"
    I paused.  Did the Zombie really swear?  And why had he used MY line?  Don't answer that.  So yesterday I told Cade that he swears too much because now the kids are grabbing construction toys and saying a bunch of B.S.  
    "I don't swear too much.  DAMN it!" Cade said, thoughtfully.
    "And that just proves it."  I giggled.  (Please remember this is my honest point of view, completely unbiased, sweet, kind and wonderful like all good mothers POV's are!)
    "But I'm not the one who says, 'That's bullshit'.  Elisa, that's something you say."
    He'd put me in a tough spot.  I thought of my potty mouth.  I don't swear a lot, just when I'm really mad, tired, or awake.  I yawned widely, exaggerating to buy time, then turned to Cade, batted my lashes and said, "Dear, swearing Cade.  The Zombie picked up a CONSTRUCTION WORKER and said the swear word!  YOU'RE a construction worker.  The Zombie didn't pick up House Wife Barbie and say, 'Damn it all!' He picked up a construction worker like you!"
    "And you're comparing yourself to House Wife Barbie?"
    "If the shoe fits.  Why what toy would you compare me to?"
    He shook his head because apparently he couldn't think of something that wouldn't be misconstrued.  "Well, da--ng it," Cade said.  "I'll try better."
    "I hope so."  I kissed him on the cheek.  "That bullshit needs to stop."    

   Today is day 9 of remembering being homeless in Hawaii.  My memory for today is that the Truth will always set you free.
 
    In closing:  If you could be any toy, what would you want to be?
    I'd want to be Rainbow Brite.

 

YES, I'm an Idiot!

 Remember my post from yesterday? Here it is: Not the Rock I was Expecting.

    Well, look what Cade bought while he was out of town on Wednesday--before I even wrote the post. 

He gave it to me last night. Yeah, I feel like an idiot.

BUT, I still LOVE the jewelry!

So my memory for day 8 of remembering being homeless in Hawaii is: 

Sometimes people understand what you're going through, even when you don't think they get it.

Click the picture to see it LIVE on Amazon!

To read a review of Homeless in Hawaii, please go HERE.

For a chance to WIN Homeless in Hawaii, go HERE.

Not the Rock I was Expecting

Day 7 of Remembering Hawaii

    Have you ever left with a total stranger, ran far from everything just to find yourself?  Well, that's what I did.  

    I left with Cade in the beginning of December.  I'd met him a week before Halloween that same year.
   Fast forward twelve years . . .  Here we are in the present day.

    Cade works all of the time.  I think he has a pretty glamorous job.
    Don't believe me?  Look at these pictures:

 

 

  

    The only catch is that he's usually just home on the weekends.

    Well, last week Cade came home on Friday night.  As he stepped from his big construction truck, dust swirled around him.  His skin appeared dark and tanned.  He tore off his work sunglasses and I ran into his arms.  I'm sure we were both covered in dirt after that.

    "I brought you something," Cade said, taking off his hat and putting it on my head.  

    "Really?  Something for me?"  I got excited.  I've always wanted jewelry and I could just see it in his eyes.  He'd brought home a necklace, a huge gem, a sparkling rock to be proud of!

    At that point our four children ran outside and hugged Cade's legs.  "Daddy!  Daddy."

    "He brought me something!" I told our oldest daughters, giggling. 

    "I'll give it to you after these guys go to bed," Cade said, hugging all of the kids.

    I put the children to bed early that night.  I could hardly wait.  What in the world had Cade brought home for me?  We've been through so much, being homeless, losing a child.  I mean hell, the man has seen me through the worst and still stuck with me!

    "Everyone's asleep," I scampered down the stairs and squeezed Cade's hand.

    "It's six o'clock."

    "I know.  Isn't it wonderful!  I wore them out."

    So we went outside.  It was already dark, and Cade had to find a flashlight.  It shone on the snowy ground and my heart beat faster and faster.  "Well, it's just inside of the truck."  Cade grabbed the handle.  But before he opened the door, I gave him a huge kiss.

    "Whatever you brought home,"--even if it was a small diamond--"I just want you to know how much this means to me."

    He chuckled. "You're gonna love it."

    The door creaked open.  

    The flashlight shone on the back seat's floor.  

    And THIS. IS. WHAT. I. SAW.

   "What do you think?" he asked breathlessly, trying to lug the thing into MY FRONT YARD!

    "Ummm . . . it wasn't the rock I was expecting."

    "You knew it was a rock?"

    "In a sense," I said very slowly, as he actually carried the rock-core like Hercules!

    "But you like it?  I knew you would because you love rocks."

    "Yeah."  I looked into his moonlit eyes and he seemed utterly happy, completely proud of his gift.

    "I love you, Cade."  I threw my arms around his neck after he set the rock down.  "It's so heavy.  I bet it was hard getting into the truck?"

    "Yep. But you're worth it, Elisa."

    So I got a new rock.  It's sitting at the bottom of our front stairs now.  It wasn't the rock I was expecting, but I guess it'll have to do.

For more pictures from Cade's work, please go HERE: Most Wanted Drilling.   

I Met Santa AND He Endorsed My Book!

    I went to the signing at the University of Utah last night. It was amazing.  I even saw Santa!
    As I gazed at him, across the way, I remembered what a religious girl once told me.  "You know how 'live' spells 'evil' backwards?  And lived spells devil?" she asked.
    I thought about it. "Yeah."
    "Well," she whispered. "Santa is taking all of the glory from Jesus on Christmas. That's why you can rearrange the letters in Santa . . . to spell SATAN!" She nodded seriously. "Anagrams tell all."
    I nearly choked, laughing so hard.  "You're kidding, right?"
    "Absolutely not.  Haven't you realized WORDS have power?  The word is living and active--like a two-edged sword. Hebrews 4:12!  Think about the Bible Code AND the hidden meanings of anagrams!  Think about it--you can also spell 'cult' from Santa Claus."
    That conversation happened in high school. I've thought it was hilarious--for years.  I have to admit though, while watching children cry as Santa held them, I remembered the power of anagrams.  
    But the Santa at the U of U signing seemed nice enough--smiling and ho hoing at strangers.
    When the crowds at the signing died down, I redid my hair, told myself to be brave, and went to meet Santa.
    "Hello, Santa," I said meekly.  
    "Hello?  Ummm . . ."  He looked at me like I was nine thousand years old.  "What would you like for Christmas?"
    "A book endorsement--from Santa," I said, holding up The Sword of Senack.  "Everyone knows you. If I got a picture with you holding my book, well that would make my night."
    I handed him the book, but that wasn't good enough.  "Come and sit on my lap," he said and I blushed.
    Have you heard that song "Santa Baby?"  THAT man gets around.  Plus, isn't it sinful to sit on Santa's lap when you're over the age of twelve?
    But I did it anyway.  And as I sat there, he asked about my book.
    "This looks interesting.  What age range is it for?" he asked.  Apparently Santa is really into consumerism--and after years of gift-giving, it makes sense.
    I smiled at him, trying not to kill his leg with my bony butt.  "It's a middle grade fantasy."
    "Perfect!  I have grandkids."

STOP Right there!

    Santa has grandkids?  Isn't that comparable to Hell freezing over?  Maybe the Mayans had it right.  The world is ending right before Christmas.  This year suddenly feels like Narnia--always winter and never Christmas.

    Anyway, Santa endorsed my book.  See.

    He was super nice.  AND I got to feel like a kid again.         

     

  

   Since today is day 6 of remembering Hawaii, here's my memory for today: 

    I met a homeless man named Skipper.  He was amazing and life-changing.  At first, I'm ashamed to say, all I noticed was his appearance.  But as time passed, I realized how wonderful he was.  His kindness changed my point of view forever.

    A word from his name is Piper--which fits since he whistled tunes for tips on the street.  Huh--maybe there is something to this anagram stuff! 

Day 5 of Remembering Hawaii

    Since today is day 5 of remembering Hawaii, I thought I would talk about how I didn't know what being Homeless in Hawaii taught me until I finished writing the book.

For more about that, and to read an interview, please go HERE. Also, if you visit that link, you can enter for a chance to win Homeless in Hawaii.

Which actor/actress would play you in a movie?

Thanks to Dimitri (click HERE to visit his blog) for tagging me to answer some fun questions about Homeless in Hawaii.

Click the picture to see it LIVE on Amazon!

Where did the idea come from for Homeless in Hawaii?

Every time I've told someone I was homeless, they gape. After all, I don't look like I've almost starved, or lived on the street at some point in my life. Then after the shock disappears, people ask questions wanting to know everything. 
     I'd never thought about detailing those 'adventures' until receiving several letters from people who read The Golden Sky. In each letter, they asked about my experiences in Hawaii. This book is for those readers because their encouragement has meant so much.

What genre does your book fall under?
Memoir

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Actors to play my part and Cade's . . . That's hard since we're real people. Hmmm . . . How about the main actress from The Help for me?

 
James Franco for Cade.
  And for Blondie, the villain. 

  And Cade's brother Chayne Hugh Jackman

Tell us about your book in one sentence.

Elisa's only seventeen, homeless, and with a man she hardly knows; will they be able to put aside their differences and survive as street musicians?

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Published by Wayman Publishing.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
Two months for the first draft. Nearly six months to polish. I had a deadline though. Most of my books have taken several years.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Eat, Pray, Love

Who or What inspired you to write this book?

A lot of people inspired me to write this book, but mostly Cade and my writing mentor. Thank you.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It's a story of self-discovery. I hope people will read this and see new aspects about themselves.

If any of you have written or are working on a book, I'd love to read your responses to these questions. If you write a blog about it, let me know and I'll mention it on a post. 

LAST DAY to Downlad Ten FREE Best Selling eBooks!

    If you'd like some FREE eBooks--and a chance to win free editing--please visit yesterday's post: Christmas Charity Book Fair & FREE eBooks!

    I missed Day 3 of Remembering Being Homeless in Hawaii. That was supposed to be: Things aren't always what they seem.  
    And indeed they aren't because I was sooo tired, I forgot to post.  Although I seem like the type who keeps deadlines, I faltered.  See what I'm saying, things aren't always what they seemed--even to ourselves.   

Today is Day 4 of Remembering Hawaii.  And it is . . . dun dun dun dun:

REAL love is different than what we think when we're young.

    Over the years I've been surprised with how much Cade is a friend AND a husband.  While in Hawaii, we became friends.  

We needed each other to survive on the streets.  Most of the time it wasn't romantic--especially that one part where he "friended" me (you can read about that in the free excerpt on Amazon).

Click the picture. Amazon!

Anyway, now we've been together for over 12 years.  Although we have our constant ups and downs, I love that man--and things are still never my fault since I'm a woman :)

See what I mean!
He CHEATED!

Christmas Charity Book Fair & FREE eBooks!

Pssst!  I have to tell you something exciting before showing you the great deals and FREE eBooks below.
Homeless in Hawaii was secretly released early AND it's already #54 in one of Amazon's Top 100 Lists.

Welcome to the Christmas Book Fair! 

SCROLL DOWN

to find FREE eBooks
that you can download from Amazon right now!


We're proud to announce the publication of 

Open Doors: Fractured Fairy Tales.

Much of the profit from this anthology will be donated to Primary Children's Hospital in the form of Christmas gifts we'll bring to the long-term patients staying there.

To celebrate this wonderful release, we've teamed up with many authors to bring you this weekend event.

 For three whole days--December 2-3-4--you can find these eBooks for great prices.

. . . And . . . Enter to win great prizes!     a Rafflecopter giveaway   Winners will be announced on 12/8.      . . . Also . . .   Discover Newly Released Books!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Sydney's Song

by Ia Uaro

Giveaway ends December 20, 2012.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

    

DOWNLOAD FREE eBooks
right now from Amazon by clicking on the books below: 

 


The hosts would like to thank everyone.
Wayman Publishing
VoiceBoks


We hope you've enjoyed discovering new authors and their stories
at our Christmas Book Fair.


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P.S. Today is Day 2 of remembering being homeless in Hawaii.
My memory for today is that even if you have nothing, it's still better to give than to receive ;) 

Pachelbel's Canon ROCK-STYLE in D--Fiddling Around!

    First off, a fellow blogger did one of THE NICEST things anyone has ever done for me.  Go HERE to see how kind people are!  I feel sooooo blessed.

    Also, a big book fair will start tomorrow.  It will kick off the release of Open Doors: Fractured Fairy Tales AND Homeless in Hawaii!

    Following Debra Kristi's idea, I've decided to do something to remember Hawaii each day for the next ten days.

    My memory for today is of playing music on the street.  Here's an example of my musical style--so you can envision how I survived as a homeless street musician at the age of seventeen.