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I just had to tell you about my crazy luck.
When I decide to do something, I go all out. I printed over a 1000 flyers to advertise my signings and vowed to pass them out at the schools I talked at AND bring them every place I could. That probably raised the odds for strange things happening.
The point is, this is my first big signing. I felt like the Barnes and Noble manager took a risk on me since my book is so new and I want to show him that I can do this. Maybe I won't sell a ton of books, but hopefully more people will come into the store from all of the advertising. Plus, we're going to have a ball. I can't wait to talk with the people who come in. This is about life experience--making my life count--making Zeke's life memorable, even now.
Well, back to the point, I went everywhere putting up flyers. Now, if you don't remember, I've run into my ex-boyfriend a couple of times in the last year. Every time I see him, I freak out and act like I don't remember him. I know, it's messed up, but it's reflex--or something!
I really don't know what my problem is. Once I saw him. He came up to me and I turned the other direction and walked away. I need to act like an adult--for once, but I'm having issues instead.
The last time this happened, I vowed to never do it again. I'm a nice, social person. What the Hell is wrong with me? Next time, I'd be very nice, apologize for the other run-ins and wish him well. I mean really, I couldn't even remember why I broke up with him.
So, the other day I waited in my car for the manager of a gym to show up. I read a few blogs, even if I couldn't comment. It was still nice catching up. Anyway, the manager walked inside and as I hurried to the front door--which had a mirror on it--the door opened and full-on hit me!
I laugh at pain, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to feel bad for hitting me. Instantly I thought of something to say; I'd laugh and spout, 'Wow, they sure make these things hard' or 'that wasn't as bad as I've always imagined.' Well, I was about to say that, when I looked up. There stood my ex. He'd just finished working out. And he actually looked happy to have hit me!
"You . . . YOU HIT ME WITH A DOOR!" I accused, not being fun like Pippi Longstocking, not at all. What was his deal. I broke his heart, so he wanted to break my face?!
"Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. What are you doing here anyway?"
So this was my fault? Because I wanted to post flyers at the gym--that's why he hit me?
"I'm advertising a book signing."
He snatched a flyer from my hand--a whole flyer--that klepto! "Elisa, how have you been do--"
"Have a nice day!" I interrupted him and burst into the entrance. He kept the flyer and I fumed. Normally, I would have said "Elisa?" like I didn't know who that was, but my name was on the flyer--stupid luck! That was the end of it. I turned into a beast. I'm one of the nicest people around and now I know why. I take all of my pent-up rage and send it toward this poor man.
"Why did you do that?" Jenn--the pimptrest from Indie Supporter asked.
"Well . . ." I thought about it and suddenly remembered why I broke up with the guy! "Maybe there is a reason."
"Spill it, Cupcake," she said because she always calls me names of food--since she's EPIC!
"We sat at this really fancy diner. He leaned over, grabbed my hand and smiled. He said something like, 'I have the best time with you, Elisa. You might not be the prettiest girl I've dated, but you sure are the funnest.' I told him we needed to break up right after that and he kept asking, 'What did I do wrong? What did I do?' Some people are so clueless."
"What a jerk. Did you tell him he wasn't the smartest guy you ever dated, and he sure was the dumbest? Next time you see that man, you should hit HIM with the door."
I giggled because Jenn is so tough. One day she's going to train me to be a ninja.
As far as the ex goes. . . The truth is, I need to be nice and figure out why I can't be an adult FOR TWO SECONDS. I might get to rectify the situation soon. After all, he did take that flyer.
Oh and since many of you are just like family and you live thousands of miles away, is it silly that I wanted to show you the clothes I got for tonight?
I normally look terrible, with my hair in a ponytail and makeup just on the one eye I had time to work on. Well, I got my hair weaved yesterday (for the second time in my life) and now I have a new outfit! This is all like a dream. Honestly, I feel like the author, Cinderella, the one who doesn't even need a pumpkin!
Here's what I'll be wearing tonight:
Fishducky, we LOVE these masks you gave us. I just keep them on the wall since the kids like to wear them and put them back where they can see them. So fun!
Anyway, For more info about my signing schedule, please go HERE.
I hope I'll get to see some of you local Utahns there!